No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work

Product Description

Wall Street Journal Bestseller!

Next Big Idea Club selection―chosen by Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, Dan Pink, and Adam Grant as one of the "two most groundbreaking new nonfiction reads of the season!"

"A must-read that topples the idea that emotions don't belong in the workplace."
--Susan Cain, author of Quiet

A hilarious guide to effectively expressing your emotions at the office, finding fulfillment, and defining work-life balance on your own terms.

How do you stop the office grouch from ruining your day? How do you enjoy a vacation without obsessing about the unanswered emails in your inbox? If you're a boss, what should you do when your new, eager hire wants to follow you on Instagram?

The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield, filled with confusing power structures and unwritten rules. We're expected to be authentic, but not too authentic. Professional, but not stiff. Friendly, but not an oversharer. Easier said than done!

As both organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy and insecurity to panic and rage. Ignoring or suppressing what you feel hurts your health and productivity -- but so does letting your emotions run wild.

Our goal in this book is to teach you how to figure out which emotions to toss, which to keep to yourself, and which to express in order to be both happier and more effective. We'll share some surprising new strategies, such as:
  *   Be selectively vulnerable: Be honest about how you feel, but don't burden others with your deepest problems.
  *   Remember that your feelings aren't facts: What we say isn't always what we mean. In times of conflict and miscommunication, try to talk about your emotions without getting emotional.
  *   Be less passionate about your job: Taking a chill pill can actually make you healthier and more focused.

Drawing on what we've learned from behavioral economics, psychology, and our own experiences at countless organizations, we'll show you how to bring your best self (and your whole self) to work every day.

Top Reviews

Disjointed random thoughts you can find better explained elsewhere
by Joshua (2 out of 5 stars)
February 21, 2019

I think this is such an important topic, I was super excited to read this book when it came out. But ultimately it was difficult to read and didn't grow my competence in this space.

Writing:

I felt like each paragraph was written on post-it notes, confusingly assembled, spliced with cute illustrations, and mixed with anecdotes called out in a different color. It seems like a randomly assembled set of blog posts. I had a hard time understanding how each paragraph and section built on each other. Yes, maybe they were related, but I wanted growth, expansion, to a crescendo of insight and conclusion. Instead my brain was constantly fighting the book thinking, where am I now, is this snippet important or that one?

Content:

The depth of each idea is therefore so unsatisfying. I want to spend money on a book to get further depth on a topic, and this just made me work so hard for the insight. The authors do a good job surveying current thought on the topic, but a sentence here about Adam Grant or a a quick picture about Seligman's 3Ps left me feel like this was a buffet of snippets of other people's ideas. It's hard for me to point out what specifically the authors are adding to this space, except to articulate that emotion is important at work. It is, and thank you for making that statement, but this book will not be the reference I use to make the argument to my colleagues.

This is an important topic, and the illustrations are good. (thus a 2 star rating) . But this isn't the book to start the revolution that's needed. I ultimately feel tricked by the business publishing industry that took successful blog content, repackaged it in a common format with varying colors, pictures, and a take away section, and smattered some good endorsements. Penguin, I want my time back.
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Brilliant, Funny & Helpful
by Jonathan E Adams (5 out of 5 stars)
February 23, 2019

Everyone should read this book, if you're just entering the workforce, the CEO or someone in between. It's helpful for millennials and their bosses to bridge the communication divide. The comics are brillant and I've alreay used a couple in some feedback sessions. Highly recommend as gifts or for self improvement. So many times during this book I thought "wow that's me" or "oops, I better stop/start doing that".
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Not adequate emotional granularity to describe my feelings about this book ;)
by Nat_P39 (5 out of 5 stars)
March 16, 2019

Once upon a time not long time ago, I bumped into the Instagram account of LizAndMollie. I couldn't help but anticipating the next clever illustration-explanation. I bought the book and just didn't want to put it down till I finish it. I appreciated deeply how it covers most aspects of emotions at work with simplicity, humor and resourcefulness. I can sense the research and refinement that was done to put this through. As someone that has read some of the indicated books and articles that are mentioned, I felt the mashup was not only useful to develop a broad understanding but also a point of reference to go back to when I want to expand my knowledge. Last but not least I kept some practical tips that can be actionable right away (like starting a decision journal). Would recommend this to anyone that would like to feel inspired about knowing more about emotions.
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Relatable, helpful, and funny workplace (and life) advice
by Laura (5 out of 5 stars)
February 6, 2019

As a young professional in a workplace with a lot of older colleagues, it can be hard to know how much of my "self" to bring to and share at work. This book provides helpful tips for how to handle different work situations and embrace the emotions that we often try to push away. The book is full of hilarious and relatable comics that made realize how universal many of my feelings are and the authors' personal anecdotes are interesting and entertaining!
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Clear and concise, with cute drawings
by Amazon Customer (4 out of 5 stars)
May 15, 2019

This book is clearly organized and offers a lot of useful practical advice for quick behaviors you can start to improve workplace culture and relationships. It is also short and very easy to read, which is always a plus.

I appreciated the personal anecdotes from the authors; it really feels like you're getting to know them as you read through the book and learn more about their life experiences and problems.

This book has drawings throughout to illustrate the concepts, which is helpful for someone like me who is a visual learner. The drawings are funny and have made the concepts in this book are much more memorable for me than those in other professional books.

The only downside to this book, in my opinion, is that it draws heavily from other sources. This is great if you don't typically read professional books and you want a book that is short and draws a lot of different ideas about emotion together, but if you're someone like me who has already read a few books on interpersonal work relationships, particularly Radical Candor by Kim Scott, then you may find this a little bit redundant at times. That said, the authors do a good job of framing concepts from other books within their broader context of emotions at work, so I still thought it was worth the read.
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Lighthearted and Helpful
by Deborah (5 out of 5 stars)
May 7, 2019

I'm an extroverted introvert and have a high demanding business operations job at a rapidly growing software company. My phone is always buzzing, I have execs asking stupid questions, and ... yeah. Burnout is real and meetings with people who drive me insane are REAL. This book was really relatable, settling, and helpful to hear how others in the same boat are navigating the space I'm finding myself in. The dripping humor and comics throughout is nice, too.
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A fun, insightful, and relatable read for managing emotions at work
by Ashley (5 out of 5 stars)
February 8, 2019

Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy courageously acknowledge how our human emotions don't just fade away once we pull into our workplace parking lots, and then take it a step further to address, "What happens then?!"No Hard Feelings," is an insightful, witty, and relatable read, providing useful tools and tactics that anyone could implement for managing emotions at work.

Additionally, the illustrations are incredibly accurate depictions of some of the most common, real-world, sticky situations and keep you smiling through each chapter. A must read for anyone in the workplace and a great gift for teams looking to connect in more meaningful and effective ways.
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Funny, entertaining, and comprehensive
by E. Morris (5 out of 5 stars)
February 6, 2019

It's like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk", but for adults talking to each-other.
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Enjoyable read
by C. O'Neill (5 out of 5 stars)
March 20, 2019

The illustrations are great, which makes this book fun to read. The book is also relatively quick to read. The authors go over some important topics about workplace interaction. Throughout the book, the authors cite the research they are basing their work on. So it's a good starting point that covers a lot of research and best practices on emotions in the workplace. If you want to dig deeper, just follow the footnotes.
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Funny, relatable, and full of insight
by DiscoLemonade (5 out of 5 stars)
March 22, 2019

There has been a lot written recently about the relationship millennials have to work; in a nutshell, we're consumed by it. Liz and Mollie have an alternative point of view: be less passionate about your job. This is just one counterintuitive, but really helpful, piece of career advice shared in their book. If you find yourself thinking about how much of your whole self to bring to work, when and how to share what you're really feeling, how to make decisions and find motivation, and how to be both a teammate and a leader, this book will provide a wealth of insight for you. Combining personal anecdotes, social science research, business case studies, and amazing illustrations, No Hard Feelings is funny, true (funny because it's true), and source of comfort and guidance in navigating all the emotions of the modern workplace.

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