Golf Jokes

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Golf Jokes... [Read more]

Features

• In the "Golf Jokes" guide, you will discover 211 golf jokes and sayings for you, your friends and golfing partners!
• Here's a few of those jokes:
• 2. Religious Golf Battle
• The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon
• Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr.
• Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you
• to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in
• his life.
• "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll
• make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it
• was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed
• to play.
• The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his
• success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
• "Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"
• "No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
• 4. This is my First Golf Lesson
• The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
• "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.
• "P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.
• "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to
• do the same thing."
• 9. An Engineer, Doctor, and Pastor Golfing
• A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow
• group of golfers.
• Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
• Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
• Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic
• pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
• aren't they?
• George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our
• clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
• The group was silent for a moment.
• Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
• Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if
• there's anything he can do for them.
• Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

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