So, What's Your Proposal?: Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Secon

Complain! Complain! Complain! Have you ever dealt with high-conflict people who blame you or others for one problem after another without taking any responsibility themselves? Don’t you feel like wringing their necks?

Instead, consider the simple method taught in this book for getting them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else. Get them to quickly focus on the future, take responsibility and contribute to finding solutions to problems – including those they created themselves or any problem.

When people complain and blame you, you don’t need to defend yourself or get angry back. Just calmly say: “So, what’s your proposal?” and focus on teaching the simple 3-step method explained in this book. This method will help you stay calm and confident, while earning the respect of those around you – even those who want to blame you!

And blame is abundant these days! Every day dozens, if not hundreds, of people confront us at work, at the store, in our communities and online. Nerves get on edge. More and more people get stuck blaming others for anything that goes wrong. With high-conflict people increasing in society, with the 24-hour news cycle, and with Twitter, Facebook and the Internet, we hear constantly about the worst behavior of other people and dozens of terrible problems. The strong temptation is to react and blame others back. However, this just feeds the problem.

This book shifts the conversation from the past and blame, to the future and problem-solving. The book teaches a simple method which can be used by almost anyone. It will help the reader stay calm and confident, while also keeping the focus on solving problems, rather than blaming people.

But it takes practice, which is why this book gives so many examples. The reader will earn the respect of those around him or her. We have seen it happen over and over again – many times in just 30 seconds.

Another helpful tool to communicate effectively with high-conflict people is BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Hostile Email, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns, also by Bill Eddy.

• Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap: Essential Parenting Skills When a Child Resists a Parent
• 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
• It's All Your Fault!: 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything
• High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
• Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
• It's All Your Fault at Work!: Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People
• Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce
• Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You
• Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life Hell
• BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns