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Product Description
Sometimes in life you say certain words in conjunction with other words that you normally wouldn't, such as the word "holy" and the word "shit." Those times are rare and celebrated. Well, get your face hole ready, because this is one of those times: introducing The Alphabet of Manliness: Special Edition!If it's a crime to be awesome, then I deserve three life sentences and the death penalty. This literary kick to the dick may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history.
The new edition includes:
• "The Numbers of Manliness."
• A full-color insert
• Corrections to typos!
I, Maddox, the author, personally guarantee that this is the best edition of the book since the last one. This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged sons of bitches out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to pick up a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted or busting balls alike.
If you can't handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already.
Top Reviews
Save your moneyby Lane Sax (2 out of 5 stars)
April 4, 2019
I was a big fan of Maddox growing up, thought his work was funny, but parts of this book is just recycled material from the website (almost word for word). The artwork is really good and some of the chapters are funny, but I'd consider this the point Maddox went down hill.
Revised, with blue cover
by J. GARRATT (3 out of 5 stars)
February 12, 2010
Anyone looking at this are already familiar with The Best Page In The Universe. And if you visit that website often enough, you know that author Maddox is at his funniest when he is cheesed off about things. Children's artwork, extreme marketing, "The Matrix" and "Star Wars" sequels, the Xbox, excessive bloggers, and general internet stupidity; these are all things that get this cynic rolling. And the results can be funny. Sometimes I laugh, out loud and everything.
"The Alphabet of Manliness" is a love letter to masculinity. And Maddox's brand of satire just isn't nearly as funny when he is writing about something he adores. He still gets hot under the collar here and there, like "Y is for Yelling" and "Z is for Zombies." (the latter seems to be a bitter reflection on the archetypes of the workplace). But the rest of the book feels like something he struggled to write. You can read it very quickly, but there weren't many times I honestly laughed.
This book did not warrant a republishing either. I've read both versions and I really didn't think it was worth the extra ink and paper. His acknowledgements after the introduction inflated a great deal, and some of it borders on rambling. The chapters tacked on the end "The Numbers of Manliness," feel like something Maddox wrote in about 15 minutes. The artwork at the end of the book is okay, nothing revelatory. About the only thing I really enjoyed from this revised version was his tale of flunking a writing class in college and how he went on to become a best-selling author on Amazon.com. "I win" is the moral of his story. Classic Maddox.
The rest? Ehhh...visit your local library.
Really inappropriate... it's 2019
by Maddox #1 fan (1 out of 5 stars)
August 6, 2019
It's so sad how this author has gone downhill. I used to love everything he did. So funny and satirical. Now looking back at this book, it's clear the author has some major issues with women. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets accused of assault based on some of the things in his book. Sad.
A must for fans, A must-miss for critics
by Adopting Esther (4 out of 5 stars)
January 27, 2015
This is the type of book you will either love or hate, it does not really lend itself to ambivalence. The first published book by internet personality Maddox, this book is laid out like a mix between a children's book that uses a word to teach the alphabet and an encyclopedia. However this book is not for children nor for those who do not enjoy more adult humor as the topics in this book are not family friendly. If you have ever read his site then you know exactly what to expect from Maddox. If you are a fan then you probably already own this, if you are not a fan then it will probably just reinforce your dislike of him.
Maddox is the best blogger ever
by Brandon Williams (5 out of 5 stars)
April 28, 2019
I bought this book on the pre-order and am just now getting around to reviewing it.
I have been a fan of Maddox and reading his perfection since the beginning.
This book is simply one more awesome thing by him.
You read this book or I cut you. I cut you good!
by Starcrescendo (4 out of 5 stars)
December 24, 2012
This book is really funny. There are some parts that just go on a bit longer than they should, but its still pretty funny. You really will enjoy this book which at its core is meant to make you laugh perhaps by being a bit too masochistic and over the top gender-racist.
It gives you some points to ponder and is pretty much guaranteed to upset any and every kind of person imaginable on at least one page throughout the course of the book.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and will be looking for similar ones. The author apparently has his own website which is in similar vein to this book which is now my new favorite website ever. Get this book you will not be disappointed.
so funny i s**t my pants
by Badr (5 out of 5 stars)
November 20, 2007
I've read maddox's website on and off for about 2 1/2 years now, and its always provided the funnies (well now book sales means he doesnt need to write as much.
First time i opened the book at breakfest I read and read til i realised i was 3 hours late for work. At one point I laughed so hard after a night out and eating spicey food that I ran to the toilet giggling and trying not to explode along the way.
This book is probably one of the funniest books ive ever read. If not the funniest. I've bought copies for my old man and my two best friends. I love how it offends women so much when it doesnt even refer to them personally, it makes the whole experiance rewarding everytime.
my friends dont have girlfriends now.
It's entertaining, but I remember laughing a lot more when I read his website.
by R. Bohrer (4 out of 5 stars)
March 1, 2009
I read a few of the letters and realized that his web articles are better. I can't say exactly why or how they are better, I can't read one of them without laughing at least once, whereas I got through A, B, and C of this book without so much as chuckling. It seems sort of... canned, or forced... On the other hand, my coworker, who has never heard of Maddox's website, read the entire book, laughing just about the entire way through - and he doesn't really like to read. I suppose that if you want this for the novelty aspect (the jacket cover alone is worth the price, I think), or you are going to give it to someone who is not familiar with Maddox's style of writing, then get it. If, on the other hand, you are familiar with the website, and you are expecting hours of entertainment from fresh Maddox material, you may want to consider abstaining.
Don't buy for your husband. Heh...
by Melanie F. (4 out of 5 stars)
January 30, 2009
I bought this book as a surprise for my husband since he and I really enjoy the writings on Maddox's website. Boy, did I open a can of worms. Now the hubby is driving me nuts with all of the "suggestions" in the book. He was literally laughing his head off then insisted on reading it to me while pointing things out and asking stupid questions. This book will piss many women off unless you have a really good sense of humor. The illustrations are hilarious though. Actually this book shouldn't be bought for anyone - it might create a monster. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Like the Chicken Soup series, but for Men
by William Settle (5 out of 5 stars)
May 15, 2014
For any teen that is curious as to what the world has in store for you, or anyone who has lost their way, I dont think you will find any wiser a tome than the one presented here. It simply is the embodiment of Chuck Norris put onto paper. The cover alone is a good summation of the book. Yes, you will be stomping apes by the time your finished. Your welcome.
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