The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

Product Description

#1 New York Times Bestseller

Over 6 million copies sold

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.

For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.

Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Top Reviews

Immature and self-aggrandizing. Writer should read "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman,
by Jeanna T , Maui (1 out of 5 stars)
February 6, 2018

I've read quite a few "self-help" books in the last 30 or so years, always curious to see what the writers have to contribute. I went in with an open mind, but could barely finish this book. While there were some good points made early on (such as, we should concentrate on things that matter, like family and friends), there was little substance in about 150 pages of this 200 page book. Mr. Manson describes in detail the thoughts of several deceased persons, from Beatles drummer Pete Best to a WWII Japanese soldier, but does not reference the sources of his information. He theorizes that many of women's accusations of sexual misconduct by men are "false memories" and that men have been harmed in the process without recognizing the impact of this very real phenomenon of sexual misconduct on our culture. Regarding his account of how sometimes his wife "doesn't look great", and he suggests she change her clothes/hairstyle....just, wow. We'll see how that works out when she attains some confidence.

I have to think that his "wildly popular" blog is followed primarily by readers much younger than Mr. Manson. When his followers mature, I think the writer would be well-suited for a job in search engine optimization. He has figured out that the most commonly searched word is f *ck.

Unfortunately, I bought a hard copy of the book -- will likely just throw in the trash.
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A Much Needed Reminder to Choose Your Battles Wisely
by Aria Ursa (5 out of 5 stars)
October 30, 2016

As someone who has given far too many f***s about far too many things their entire life, this book was exactly the wake up call I needed. Even as a child in elementary school, I would have a miniature meltdown when I got a bad grade or if a friend was mean to me that day. As an adult, I got better at hiding these emotional upheavals and intense reactions to the world around me, but they never really went away with my maturity like I had hoped. I took to heart every disheartening news article I read and every crappy thing that happened to me at work or in school. I'd let it consume me, because I was never told to live life any other way or that controlling my reactions was even remotely possible; I thought it was just a permanent part of my personality. I always knew that it was more of a vice than a virtue, but I felt like I couldn't fully control it.

Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** employs a witty use of profanity laced with satirical comedy that's bursting with philosophical wisdom. Much of Manson's inspiration originates from nihilists, Buddhists, Albert Camus, and Charles Bukowski, but he brings those philosophies into a more modern and palatable perspective. He reminds us that life is too short to react so passionately about every little thing. We have a limited emotional capacity, and we often squander it on reactions to mean-spirited people or unfortunate events, completely forgetting that, although we can't control the world around us, we can control ourselves. This book has empowered me to exercise control over my reactions.

Shortly after reading this book, my husband commented at how "zen" I've become. I'm no longer angrily venting to him about all of the various ways the world upsets me. I still allow myself to feel and talk about things that bother me (I'm not aiming to achieve nirvana as a Buddhist monk), but petty things no longer have a hold on me. I let the negativity wash over me now without letting it absorb into my soul, and my life has been much more enjoyable as a result.

I was so inspired by this book and its philosophy, that I wanted a permanent reminder for myself to further ensure that I use my f***s wisely from now onward. For my birthday, I got this simple, but meaningful tattoo on my right wrist. The ∞ symbol reminds me of the infinite nature of time and outer space, and the 0 on the bottom represents humanity's relevance to time and space as a whole. It can also be translated as don't make something (∞) out of nothing (0) or a reminder that there are infinite opportunities to give a f***, but that I will remain steadfast in giving 0 f***s about things that don't really matter.

If you're the type of person who's struggled to keep their temper in line or if you're like me and you find yourself on an emotional roller-coaster because you take every event in the world and within your own life to heart, I strongly encourage you to read this book. If profanity is so much of a problem for you, that you can't tolerate reading the first half of this book (the last half is much less profane) you're probably too narrow-minded to have taken away any of the many philosophical benefits this book offers.
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Take responsibility for your own life
by Ark Runner (5 out of 5 stars)
March 26, 2018

This book is not about absolute nihilism - not giving a f* about anything ever. Instead, the premise is to pare down what we care about, and what we stress over.

The premise of the book is to look to the things that really matter in life and work on that. That means sometimes taking a hard look inside to see what trivial things we care about, and what mistakes we have made that must be changed. Personal accountability for ones' own life is paramount.

The "flow" of this book is a lot more like a blog. It's an easy read that feels more like a conversation than a treatise on nihilism. At times some of the story-telling goes on a bit longer, and sometimes it feels like there's a little filler. I think this book could use some edits to condense down the more salient points. (I almost gave 4 instead of 5 stars, but in fairness, it doesn't detract from the book overall).

As an aside, I got this book immediately after someone gifted me "The Secret," which is about as opposite of this book as it gets. While "The Secret" promotes thinking good thoughts so good things will happen (the "thoughts become things" premise), The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F* promotes personal growth and responsibility. I've recommended this book to most of my friends, and would recommend to anyone who feels constantly overwhelmed.
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Scumbag
by Bobak Shafiei (1 out of 5 stars)
November 22, 2018

Do you know that feeling you get when it's last call at the club, the lights come on and you get a chance to *really* look at that person you were dancing with and it's not a pleasant sight and you want to get away as soon as possible?

That's kinda how this book made me feel. The clever title, like the low lights in a bar, masks the fact that this book offers no real substance while the author simply brags about his good fortune in life. A few chapters in, "the lights come on" and you just feel kinda icky.

I'm upset this p.o.s. Got any of my money.
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Pure fad! Poor unsubstantiated writing based on one person's life experience turned cure-all advice
by Candace (1 out of 5 stars)
June 30, 2018

Sorry, not sorry, but not a fan. This book is pretty much written by a person who had crisis in their life (as many do) and wrote a whole book of life-advice based on their single experience. This book seems to be heavily influenced by taking what Mark learned from his therapist, based on his personal issues, and transforming that into a set of principles that will somehow act as a cure-all for everyone else's situations...with the word "F*CK added to be cool. This is pretty much a fad that will eventually fade away. Definitely not one of the long-standing classics. Good job to this guy for getting paid on it though. I'd get my money back if I could.

Here are the parts that stick out to me in particular:
1. The writing isn't that great. He drops the f-bomb here and there for emphasis which is attention getting. But if you're adding the f-bomb to writing that is not well developed...well you're just emphasizing poor writing. Personally, I'm not a prude and have no issues with the word. I just didn't think it was effective in this case.
2. This book is not inspirational and there is nothing profound in here that most people don't already learn on their own from life itself when transitioning from late teen years to early adulthood. Waste of time.
3. There are many claims about what psychologists and other experts believe. A lot of "Research shows..." but there are no citations! Ummm, what? How do we know what Mark summarizes is indeed what research shows. Where is the foundation on which the proof points of this book is written?
"Sometime in the 1960s, developing "high self-esteem"-having positive thoughts and feelings about oneself-became all the rage in psychology. Research found that people who thought highly about themselves generally performed better and cause d fewer problems...Grade inflation, for example, was implemented to make low achieving kids feel better...Pastors and minsters told their congregations that they were each uniquely special in God's eyes...Businesses and motivational seminars cropped up chanting the same paradoxical mantra: every single one uf us can be exceptional and massively successful." Really? How about an example or citation of where this was pulled together.
"Numerous professors and educators have noted a lack of emotional resilience and and excess of selfish demands in today's young people...Speakers and professors are shouted down and banned from campuses for infractions as simple as suggesting that maybe some Halloween costumes really aren't that offensive. Schools counselors note that more students than ever are exhibiting severe signs of emotional distress..." Ok. Who? Where? What? When and where are these things happening? Where are the studies, examples, news references? Where is this guy pulling all of this from? My goodness a 5th grader could write a more complete current event report than the content of this entire book! The acknowledgements state "To Michael Covell for being my intellectual stress test, especially when it comes to understanding psychological research, and for always challenging me on my assumptions." Well good job for trying Michael!
"Brilliant business people are often f*ckups in their personal lives. Extraordinary athletes are often shallow and dumb as a lobotomized rock. Many celebrities are probably just as clueless about life as the people who gawk at them and follow their every more." WOW! Stereotype much?
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Disappointment Panda Here
by Kindle Customer (1 out of 5 stars)
September 2, 2018

I've never been more disappointed by a book. The constant generalizations. The pretentious tone of it all. The lack of any substance. Heres a synopsis, privileged guy uses his atypical life experience to tell you to care less about certain things and care more about other things you already know you should care about. Don't waste your time or money.
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A drunk guy at a bar giving his version of buddhism.
by Michael Hussle (1 out of 5 stars)
October 25, 2018

Save yourself some money and time. The only valuable lesson in this book is figure out the things that really matter, and not waste your time/energy getting upset about things that don't. There, done. Now you don't have to listen to a drunk dude rant about his explanation of buddhism and why he's so awesome.
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Unexpectedly Life-Changing- One of the Best Books I've Read.
by Stephanie (5 out of 5 stars)
May 4, 2018

What I like the most about this book is that my initial thought of; "This will be a good read- I'll probably get a provoking thought or two out of it", turned into, "Wow. This book has literally changed my life, for the better." Since I've finished it, I recommended it to four people, two of which have acquired the book, and I even got an extra copy as a gift for a friend. I intend to read this book every couple years or so for the times I need to be reminded of what improved my life so much in the first place. This is an easy read- yet written on a sophisticated level (despite the title), and I looked forward to every bit of free time I could dedicate to reading it. There were times I laughed, got teary eyed, and most importantly said, "hmmm, I never thought of it like that before..." I recommend this book to anyone who is open to changing their mindset, and can understand irony. Obviously the title is not instructing the reader to stop taking care in interest in EVERYTHING, so if that thought never crossed your mind upon reading the title, then I suggest you read this.
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I'm an entitled millennial and I was offended by this book.
by TYU (2 out of 5 stars)
April 27, 2018

It's an entertaining read, sometimes, but, to me, comes across as a hodge-podge of philosophies that are the result of aimless musings that materialize as a rant. The title, I believe is "clickbait" and does speak to society's need to counter-balance an unnatural work-obsessed culture, but Manson's treatment is unfocused, time wasting, unprofessional and negative. We have enough pissed off teenagers. Since when does writing as one make you a best-seller, where you sit on your high horse as being able to accept your own mediocrity? What kind of leadership is that?

Manson is correct in identifying our culture of exceptionalism. He could very well be the counter-balance we need to the messages we receive from empowerment seminars, celebrities and successes. But does he ever question whether this empowerment gives people hope, and helps with the day-to-day struggle? The tone is judgemental, rather than empathetic. The experience is cheapened by colloquialisms.
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Written by a millenial, for millenials.
by vvwwvv (3 out of 5 stars)
September 5, 2018

A great read. A very entertaining romp through philosophical thought by a skilled wordsmith, but I would say the age cut-off for this book is 50. Beyond 50, you've probably already learned most of the lessons in this book the hard way, however, I can see where it can be extremely helpful for a generation that spends most of its waking hours posting narcissistic selfies on their iphones. Manson gives you the blueprints to get your head out of your ass, (or out of your phone) take a hard look at yourself and the real world around you, and shed many of the illusions you've been slowly poisoning your life with. If you're a millennial, or even a disenchanted X-gen, pick up this book. It will give you at least a more healthy point of view. But, if you're over 50, you're not going to find anything new in here except entertainment.

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