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Narcissistic Ex: How to Get Over a Toxic Relationship, Deal With an Abusive Ex and Become Free of the Controlling Sociopath Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 234 ratings

Narcissistic abuse is a form of abuse that ensures victims are left emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, and devoid of any self-worth or self-esteem. I was a victim of a malignant narcissist for seven years of my life, and I know just how crushing it is to live such an abusive and suppressed life. The helplessness and detachment from reality that comes with narcissistic abuse are enough to keep you in the tight grip of the abuser for as long as they choose.

However, I eventually found the courage to leave my abuser, but it didn’t end there. As you may know, ending a relationship with a narcissist isn’t that easy - even if it was the narc who did the breaking up, they don't just "let you go" - they try to make sure you’ll go through hell before you get one over on them.

In this audiobook, I want to offer you some guidance on this rarely-talked about aspect of an abusive relationship: how to deal with a narcissist when they’re your ex.

The chapter list is as follows:

  • Why you shouldn’t go back and why you need to move on
  • Why you need to go "no contact" and ways you can do this
  • How to stop missing your abuser
  • Understanding and dealing with "hoovering’" after a break-up
  • Narcissistic stalking
  • How to deal with "flying monkeys"
  • Survivor stories from two former narcissistic abuse victims

Throughout the audiobook, I also offer some of my own story too, in the hopes that this offers you a sense of familiarity. You’ll likely find that thing things I went through are very similar to your own experiences, and the purpose of this audiobook is to get you to the point where I’m currently at: healed and thriving.

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Product details

Listening Length 2 hours and 21 minutes
Author Lauren Kozlowski
Narrator Stephanie Murphy
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date July 29, 2019
Publisher Escape The Narcissist
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B07VRKSLYZ
Best Sellers Rank #68,944 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#40 in Domestic Partner Abuse (Audible Books & Originals)
#107 in Divorce & Separation
#134 in Domestic Partner Abuse (Books)

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
234 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book easy to read and enjoyable. They appreciate the insightful, wise advice and guidance provided. The book is straightforward and to the point, with valid points. However, some readers feel it's too short at 13 pages.

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6 customers mention "Readability"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and enjoyable.

"Easy read, very enjoyable..." Read more

"This book is amazing!..." Read more

"Great book! Poor grammar..." Read more

"A must read !!!..." Read more

5 customers mention "Insight"5 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's insights and guidance. They find it straightforward, with valid points. The book helps them recognize and recover from narcissistic relationships.

"I really like her style of writing it’s easy, straight forward and to the point...." Read more

"This book has helped me so much with my ex. He had been hovering, gaslighting, manipulating me to the point I thought everything was my fault...." Read more

"This is a great book for guidance and support !" Read more

"...This book will help so many victims of narcissistic abuse to recognize, take action, and recover from their traumatic experiences." Read more

Great book! Poor grammar
4 out of 5 stars
Great book! Poor grammar
The book was short, but to the point. I thought of many instances that related to what was being discussed. The grammar was horrible.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2023
    I really like her style of writing it’s easy, straight forward and to the point. She is so brave to share bits of her story and I found it relatable to mine. Insightful, wise and there is hope everyone after a narcissistic relationship.
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2019
    This book has helped me so much with my ex. He had been hovering, gaslighting, manipulating me to the point I thought everything was my fault. I finally went no contact like the book suggests. So far my life is peaceful. Do read this book if you have a narcissist in your life. They’re hard to get away from.
    4 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 7, 2021
    The book was short, but to the point. I thought of many instances that related to what was being discussed. The grammar was horrible.
    Customer image
    4.0 out of 5 stars Great book! Poor grammar
    Reviewed in the United States on November 7, 2021
    The book was short, but to the point. I thought of many instances that related to what was being discussed. The grammar was horrible.
    Images in this review
    Customer image
    Customer image
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2024
    It’s an sending book and very reliable and realistic
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2020
    This is a great book for guidance and support !
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2020
    I like the smooth way the author describes her abusive ex-husband’s narcissistic tendencies and the effect it had on her. This book will help so many victims of narcissistic abuse to recognize, take action, and recover from their traumatic experiences.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2023
    I admit to only being about halfway through this book, but it's important to note that I bought it less than an hr ago and cannot put it down even though it's 3am and I should be sleeping!
    -Why?-
    Because I've desperately researched and read every possible Breakup, How to Get Over You Ex and even How to Get Your Ex Back article and book I could find for yrs now...I thought something was either wrong with me or that the end of my 12 year relationship with the father of my kids and so-called "forever" HAD to be my fault. I fell into deep depression, severe anxiety, extreme insomnia and being so mentally drained, exhausted and sleep-deprived that friends literally wondered if I was on drugs due to my total breakdown and descent as a person. I went from feeling confident, intelligent, pretty, happy, fun and knowing who I was and what I wanted in life to losing all self-esteem/confidence, no longer taking the time to change out of whatever I'd slept in or do hair and makeup (something I always had done even when making a quick trip to a convenience store), feeling like a failure at being a partner, mother, and a person, lost/confused, unsure of who I was/what I stood for, losing friends and so much time as every moment was spent beating myself up over beliefs that I was everything my narcissistic ex made me out to be (and none of it was remotely positive). It wasn't until I began wondering if I should even be taking up space and time anywhere or of anyone and began envisioning taking my own life, believing ppl would be more annoyed to have to deal with my lifeless body, paying funeral expenses and cleaning up the literal messes I'd left behind due to losing all motivation to achieve what I believed myself to be incapable of at this pt in my life...simple things like getting out of bed, let alone keeping my space or myself "tidy"...

    ...But my kids: They would be devastated and feel like they weren't worth staying alive and present for..they ARE worth that and MORE..they are MY EVERYTHING. I finally began devouring whatever informational help I could read or listen to...

    BUT THIS BOOK SAVED ME. It put all of my feelings on paper..and they weren't my my words or my story. These words..THIS BOOK...is written by someone who knew what I felt like. Suddenly, I wasn't alone. I learned that thr author and countless other ppl had experienced and felt the same trauma, utter confusion and sheer pain/heartache as me.

    Idk exactly why no other material that shared and presented those same beliefs ever truly spoke to me in a way that made letting go seem doable.

    Clear, concise, personal and empathetic. Those are the best words to describe the tone of this book. I promise you will be relieved and invigored. YOU WILL REMEMBER AND WANT TO BE THE PERSON YOU MISS BEING..BEFORE SOMEONE TOXIC ENTERED YOUR LIFE! Read it..I hope it saves you as well.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2020
    Narcissistic Ex:
    How to get over a tox relationship, deal with abusive ex and become free of the controlling sociopath.
    By Lauren Kozlowski
    Pgs: 90
    This book is comprised of seven chapters:
    1. Why you shouldn’t go back to your narcissistic ex and why need to move on.
    2. Going no contact with your ex.
    3. How to stop missing your abusive ex.
    4. Understanding hoovering.
    5. Narcissistic stalking.
    6. Disarming the flying monkeys.
    7. Stories of survivor escapes from narcissistic relationships.
    The overall, theme of the book is that your ex will not change, that they are toxic, and you need to drop them. The author uses her own personal experience as well as those of other survivors of toxic relationships to illustrate her point.
    Chapter 3 is an interesting chapter and has some valid points. However, it’s only 13 pages. It would be nice if the author has expanded her and discussed some of the themes in more detail.

    The author also talks about the situation where an ex threatens suicide. Per the author, the ex is not going to do it, and you should just ignore the threats. I found this comment to be very insensitive even in the context of an abusive person. While, I agree that the threat of suicide can be used as a form of manipulation, I don’t agree that threats should not be taken seriously. Suicide is the number 8 cause of death and men are far more likely to commit suicide then women. And while it’s true short of taking the person back, there is really nothing that you can do to help someone in this situation. I think it’s important to show compassion, even if you, yourself are hurting from this person.
    6 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • Lise-Anne
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great lil' book to refer back to...!! #narc🆓️
    Reviewed in Canada on February 7, 2021
    It was very easy to read. I could relate to it in so many ways. It was as if my own thoughts were put there...past, current & tips on how to go about it...if need me.
    I also never knew anything about "Trauma Bond" until now & how she describes it was exaxtly how i felt about my relationship with my ex...!! He mentally, emotionally, verbally & physically drained me.
    Do yourself a favour & break the silence & go "NO CONTACT".
    The author is also a survivor...of abuse & if she can move past the trauma so can I.
    #narcissisticex #laurenkozlowski #abuseisnotokay #narcfreeangeloverhere
    📖📚📝🖤🆇🆇🆇❎🚫🤘

    Great lil' book(highly recommend it..!!). 📚👌
  • TMTAZZ
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing read!! I’m so relieved
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 18, 2022
    Simply so grateful I found this author! I thought I was going mad as kept getting pulled back in to my ex when I knew I really didn’t want to go back there…I love how simply she explains trauma bonding & narcissistic abuse…all of the information really resonated with me. I have since bought all of her others books & I will be reading them over & over & going back to them when I feel myself being at risk of further manipulation!! I did a very brave thing by leaving my abuser after 17 years of marriage….I was hoovered back on numerous occasions but with time & knowledge (thanks to books like this!) I’ve stuck to my guns & continued with no contact…it is really hard, unbelievably hard - like breaking an addiction - but you absolutely have to do it!!! I’m excited for the next chapter of my life, away from my abuser & free from his toxicity. Thank you Lauren. I highly highly recommend this little, easy to read gem of a book. I’m fact, I’d highly recommend you order all of her books regarding narcissistic abuse.
  • Rhonda
    5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommend this Book
    Reviewed in Australia on July 24, 2022
    The more we are made aware of and educated about narcissistic abuse the easier it will be to identify the behaviours from the beginning. This book provides first hand experience from a person who has survived and moved on.
  • Jodi
    5.0 out of 5 stars excellent
    Reviewed in Canada on November 21, 2022
    I found this book very helpful. Very straightforward how to deal with my narcissistic ex. I wish I had read it much earlier, I would have put her advice into action sooner. But better late than never.
  • tracy wilson
    5.0 out of 5 stars Just what I needed to read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 10, 2023
    Wow, I was so naive, this has helped me immensely. Thank you!