The essence of this book is described in its title. It’s a Roadmap. An incredibly helpful and hopeful roadmap for anyone recovering from the effects of narcissistic abuse. Ms miller describes the three stages of recovery – 1. Victim, 2. Survivor, and 3. Thriver – and gives the reader common markers for each stage. If you’ve suffered this type of abuse, you will recognize yourself in her descriptions. The most insidious effects of this abuse are loss of self-esteem, no longer trusting one’s self, feeling there’s something ‘wrong’ or ‘missing’ with oneself, and self-sabotage. Her book will help you overcome all that and more. After I’d spent untold years in therapy and 8+ years in Al Anon, trying to unravel the effects of alcoholism in my family of origin, Meredith’s book was a revelation. The immediate effect for me was realizing I’m not crazy after all and, for the first time, being able to make sense of it all. And, more importantly, seeing what I need to do about it.
Miller’s book is a story told from the heart. She shares the very personal story of her own Journey, first in recognizing the effects of the abuse in her own life, and then, working to recover from it. She writes on page 42, in talking about Stage One: “What you most need at this point are people in your life who believe your story and those who can show you by their example that healing is possible.” Miller is one of those people; she shows us it can be done. But she would be the first to admit the healing can’t be done just from reading one book. She gives references to several other helpful books as well, and she encourages participation in 12 step programs. As my own experience with Al Anon had taught me, there are plenty of people out there who will listen to your story and believe you, just as Miller says.
Miller also acknowledges that reading books and understanding the source of abuse isn’t enough. We still need to do the work. And her book is the Roadmap for doing just that. One of the very first steps in doing that work, she tells us, is “Taking 100% responsibility for your choices now and moving forward.” She tells us why that’s important, along with pointing the way for all the other steps. In Stage Three, she tells us sometimes we need to work towards Forgiveness and sometimes we don’t. And, of course, she tells us when and why.
If you even suspect you may have suffered from the effects of narcissistic abuse, do yourself a favor and read her book. I spent years denying the lasting effects of my father’s narcissism. Reading her book has helped me move beyond the denial to taking proactive steps toward my recovery. With her help I now know, and accept, that it’s 100% my responsibility.
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About the author
Anyone who needs to heal from any type of abuse can benefit from this book.
So far the book is phenomenal.
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2018
- Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2018
- Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2018
Top reviews from other countries
- Customer0xF5Reviewed in Germany on August 25, 2019
A helping hand for upgrading your life
- Jane DoeReviewed in France on February 8, 2019
Book is a great addition to Meredith's youtube channel
- Victoria WilkinsonReviewed in the United Kingdom on January 11, 2018
Brilliant book. Why oh why doesn't society know about ...
- Karin de GraafReviewed in the Netherlands on June 1, 2022
very thorough and accurate
