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The Ultimate Guide to Bondage: Creating Intimacy through the Art of Restraint Paperback – December 11, 2018
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Are you curious about bondage but nervous about where to start? Bondage doesn’t have to be all about whips and chains- it can be a mindfulness activity, a wonderful way to express creativity, and an intimacy generator in the bedroom! Explore the exciting world of bondage, the variety of types that exist, and most importantly- how we use them to connect with our loved ones.
Mistress Couple skillfully breaks down the world of bondage into ten distinct realms, including Japanese rope bondage, costume bondage, psychological bondage, self-bondage and more. Each of the realms includes a lesson with historical and practical applications, first-hand accounts, and even DIY tutorials, making this the perfect primer for beginners and a well of inspiration for experienced bondage practitioners.
- Print length310 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCleis Press
- Publication dateDecember 11, 2018
- Dimensions5 x 0.78 x 8 inches
- ISBN-101627782745
- ISBN-13978-1627782746
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“This exceptional resource goes well beyond the expected and delves into a wide range of bondage types (balloon encasement, anyone?) from both practical and philosophical perspectives in a most thoughtful way. It inspires deeper thinking about bondage—and deeper thinking leads to better bondage scenes!” —Evie Vane, author of Better Bondage for Every Body and The Little Guide to Getting Tied Up -- Evie Vane
"Going beyond technique, Mistress Couple provides a grounded introduction to bondage and restraint that has depth. If you want to explore this erotic practice, and care about the meaning of it, the "why" of bondage and not just the "how", this book is a strong foundation to start that exploration." --Dr. Richard Sprott, developmental psychologist, co-author of Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities -- Dr. Richard Sprott
"It's interesting, it's educational, it's erotic and it's fun — coming from an expert who has truly lived the lifestyle on the top an bottom.” —Joanna Angel, award-winning adult film star and director, and best-selling author of Night Shift: A Choose-Your-Own Erotic Fantasy -- Joanna Angel
“Far too few modern books on BDSM confront the much needed emphasis on Safety before diving into a deep exploration of the topic the way The Ultimate Guide to Bondageby Mistress Couple does so beautifully. But what really brought this book home for me was the care and time that Mistress Couple placed at the end of the book with short stories to reflect top-notch games at their finest. Standing ovation.” —Master Arcane of The Crow Academy, author of Igniting The Fire: The Art of Romantic Submission -- Master Arcane
"I have never read a bondage book more wide-ranging and yet so thorough at the same time. No matter what piques your interest about bondage, Mistress Couple has surely included it here. I highly recommend this to anyone with an interest in the art of restraint — experienced or not!" —Evie Lupine, peer kink educator and YouTuber -- Evie Lupine
“This hefty tome is truly the Ultimate Guide to the “B” in BDSM. Mistress Couple has something for every type of reader. Now I look forward to the guides for the D’s, S’s, and M’s.” —Dr. Lanae St.John, professor of human sexuality, founder of The MamaSutra -- Dr. Lanae St. John
"Rarely have I read anything quite so satisfying. And excellent collection and highly recommended." --Kitty Kat's Book Review Blog ― Kitty Kat's Book Review Blog
"I can think of no better person from whom to learn about the art of erotic bondage than Mistress Couple. Her love of the art is palpable and contagious, and her approach to kink is so sexy and loving. I'd definitely let her tie me up!" —Karley Sciortino, creator of Viceland's Slutever -- Karley Sciortino
"The Ultimate Guide to Bondage goes beyond the how-to techniques and takes the reader on a journey through understanding consent, desire, risk, and connection. This is the perfect book for the curious new explorer and will help the advanced adventurer dive deeper into a variety of physical and psychological nuances related to erotic restraint." --Lee Harrington, author of Shibari You Can Use and Sacred Kink -- Lee Harrington
"Honestly, this is the book that I wish I'd had when I first got started in kink... It's an excellent primer for beginning bondage enthusiasts, and unlike any other bondage book that I've encountered before." --Mistress Holly GoLightly -- Mistress Holly GoLightly
"The Ultimate Guide to Bondage is exquisitely written, from nose to tail. With Mistress Couple’s writing style, it is easy to be right there with her. The Ultimate Guide to Bondage is comprehensive for those personally and professionally interested in bondage. This book could easily be used in an academic course." --Dr. Rosara Torrisi, LCSW, MEd, CST, PhD, Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy -- Dr. Rosara Torrisi
"Even if you don’t want to do all the kinky stuff outlined in the book, at least you’ll read about the weird shit other people do and what you might want to do. Anyone for getting stuffed into a gigantic balloon and then having it popped?" --Anka Radakovich, AVN -- Anka Radakovich
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Cleis Press (December 11, 2018)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 310 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1627782745
- ISBN-13 : 978-1627782746
- Item Weight : 10.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5 x 0.78 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #337,176 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #361 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality
- #467 in General Sexual Health
- #1,005 in Sex & Sexuality
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Described by Playboy as “equal parts Betty Grable and ‘90s Ani DiFranco,” Mistress Couple is a Sexual Empowerment Coach known for class, professionalism, and a forward thinking mindset. In addition to Playboy, she has been interviewed as an authority in the field by Cosmopolitan, VICE, People Magazine, The Daily Beast, Huffington Post, and countless other media outlets. Couple is best known for her psychological approach to intimacy and alternative relationship models- specifically BDSM and power dynamics. She comes to the field with a diverse background and draws from the skill-sets that she has accumulated through her education in psychology, time as a competitive ballroom dancer and instructor, and through serving as the Head-Mistress of a world-renowned BDSM training center, to provide a well-rounded perspective.
In November 2018, Mistress Couple released her first book- The Ultimate Guide to Bondage: Creating Intimacy Through the Art of Restraint. The book has been lauded by the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy as a text that could “easily be used in an academic course” and as a “comprehensive [guide] for those personally and professionally interested in bondage.” Couple’s progressive approach is clearly on display in the book, which utilizes supporting evidence from developmental, trauma and attachment therapies to convey the importance of bondage as a tool for self-exploration, healing, and intimacy.
Mistress Couple’s interest in normalizing modalities of connection that have been obscured, ridiculed, or simply misunderstood is unceasing. She welcomes individuals, couples, and even polycules in her practice. Above all else, Mistress Couple values providing space to build trust so that clients feel comfortable with sharing insight into their relationships and receiving feedback. Her ultimate goal is to help empower people to create the relationships they crave.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book well-written and helpful for beginners, providing a greater understanding of each type of bondage. They appreciate its pacing, with one customer describing it as all-encompassing.
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Customers appreciate the book's knowledge, particularly how it helps beginners get started and provides a greater understanding of each type of bondage.
"...This book is incredibly through, and even takes the time to address concepts such as privilege, how irl power exchange plays into kink, and even how..." Read more
"...Miss Couple brings her personal flare and knowledge to this subject and creates a very broad view. Mental bondage? Balloon bondage? Device bondage?..." Read more
"My husband is reading the book. It is good for beginners, but needs more pictures." Read more
"...privilege(s), obtaining consent, negotiation, the history of bondage from a cultural perspective, appreciating the art of restraint - and even a bit..." Read more
Customers praise the writing quality of the book, finding it well-crafted and thorough, with one customer noting the author's genuine care for readers.
"...This book is incredibly through, and even takes the time to address concepts such as privilege, how irl power exchange plays into kink, and even how..." Read more
"...I think what I was most enjoyed was the quality of writing - it is a very well-written book...." Read more
"Life changing book, highly recommended. This is the best book with which I started my new year...." Read more
"...This is a great book for anyone looking to begin a beautiful bondage exploration." Read more
Customers appreciate the pacing of the book, with one describing it as all-encompassing and expansive.
"...this book to everyone I know who's curious because it's so all encompassing...." Read more
"A phenomenally informative, comprehensive and expansive book...." Read more
"a comprehensive and detailed guide..." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2019Mistress Couple has given us yet another gift, besides just her presence on earth! This book is incredibly through, and even takes the time to address concepts such as privilege, how irl power exchange plays into kink, and even how to queer your kink. Lots of great representation of different bodies as well, which as a fat poc, I very much appreciate. I live in a very small place and there is pretty much zero access to kink education or even kink events. I've been recommending this book to everyone I know who's curious because it's so all encompassing. The essays at the end are especially well written and beautiful expressions of passion. I can't get enough of Couple!!!
- Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2019This book is an amazing primer for beginners - but do not overlook it even if you have been at this a while. Miss Couple brings her personal flare and knowledge to this subject and creates a very broad view. Mental bondage? Balloon bondage? Device bondage? These are all covered and much more. I think what I was most enjoyed was the quality of writing - it is a very well-written book. Also, if you have had the good fortune to interact with Miss Couple in person, you will immediately recognize her intelligence, empathy, knowledge, compassion and intuitive ways. It's actually amazing to me how she was able to re-create all of HER in print! Buy the book. For yourself - and a special friend - and then get to it! Or, FYI, there is a chapter on self-bondage as well!!!
- Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2019My husband is reading the book. It is good for beginners, but needs more pictures.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2019Mistress Couple's exceptional approach to guiding you through Her perspective of bondage is unparalleled!
Not only does the reader have the opportunity to embrace the various capacities of bondage, but your mind is realigned in the process. If you're in a rush to learn how to tie someone up, pump your brakes! This book gets to the granular level of understanding our individual privilege(s), obtaining consent, negotiation, the history of bondage from a cultural perspective, appreciating the art of restraint - and even a bit of humor. As a bonus, you get to read the perspective and experiences of the submissives and/or 'slaves' who are under Mistress Couple's purview at La Domaine Esemar!
All in all, a great read for beginners, enthusiasts and practitioners alike!
- Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2021I expected a tutorial on knots and slings...not here!
- Reviewed in the United States on July 2, 2019A phenomenally informative, comprehensive and expansive book. As a professional in the BDSM industry this book was still incredibly useful to my practice while still being accessible to beginners. Miss Couple expertly weaves together history, personal anecdotes and tutorials. I appreciate her in-depth exploration as to why we practice and desire bondage as well as things we might already be doing that we don’t consider bondage. I highly recommend for both newbies and experienced kinksters.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2019Life changing book, highly recommended. This is the best book with which I started my new year. Clear, practical, mindfully writing with a real care about readers. And so far this is the desk book you will come back to use, structure your thoughts, find inspiration and learn new techniques. I gave this book to my friends several times. And some friends was getting much open about their true sexuality after this book, which I’m truly grateful for. I am sure that many should find out about Ultimate Guide to Bondage: Creating Intimacy through the Art of Restraint by Miss Couple!
- Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2019I went into this book not knowing much more than rope and handcuffs. Not only that I came away with a better awareness of all the different types of bondage out there, but also a sense of why people do this. A cool part of the book was a bunch of essays from people that participate in bondage (both giving and receiving). We're shown glimpses of what they personally get out of it. It's a great one for the kinky book collection for sure.
Top reviews from other countries
- Brendan MulvihillReviewed in Germany on March 13, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars Learn
Learnt a another about how little I really knew about this. Enjoying it more now
- Glittery GlamperReviewed in the United Kingdom on April 23, 2019
3.0 out of 5 stars A thorough read, but it won't teach you any specific ties or restraint techniques
It's nicely written, but it doesn't give you any step by step instructions for achieving specific ties. The information is good, but we'd been hoping to find a section teaching a few basic ties, but were disappointed that it doesn't contain that.