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Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change Paperback – December 30, 2014
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Beyond Addiction goes beyond the theatrics of interventions and tough love to show family and friends how they can use kindness, positive reinforcement, and motivational and behavioral strategies to help someone change. Drawing on forty collective years of research and decades of clinical experience, the authors present the best practical advice science has to offer.
Delivered with warmth, optimism, and humor, Beyond Addiction defines a new, empowered role for friends and family and a paradigm shift for the field. This new approach is not only less daunting for both the substance abuser and his family, but is more effective as well. Learn how to use the transformative power of relationships for positive change, guided by exercises and examples. Practice what really works in therapy and in everyday life, and discover many different treatment options along with tips for navigating the system. And have hope: this guide is a life raft for parents, family, and friends—offering “reminders that although no one can make another person change, there is much that can be done to make change seem appealing and possible” (Publishers Weekly).
- Print length352 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateDecember 30, 2014
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.7 x 8.38 inches
- ISBN-101476709483
- ISBN-13978-1476709482
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"I am an expert in substance use disorders–quoted all the time. But I could never apply all that so-called expertise where it really counted–in my own family. I had scientific knowledge but no practical tools to use to help me and my affected family cope and return to sanity. This book would have saved my family and me a lot of time, money, and most importantly pain. I intended to read this book as a professional courtesy and to offer editorial and perhaps scientific comments. Instead I found myself taking notes on every chapter and Xeroxing some of the handy tables. Two weeks after reading the book both my son and I are using these basic lessons and specific techniques today with my grand-kids.” -- A. Thomas McLellan, PhD, Executive Director, Treatment Research Institute, former Deputy Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy ― and professor of psychiatry at University of Pennsylvania
"Beyond Addiction breaks out of the mold of traditional resources for families of people struggling with addiction. Unlike most popular self-help books in the field that suggest family members can only help themselves, Beyond Addiction empowers readers by (1) letting them know that they can help their loved one change and (2) showing them exactly how to do it. I started to put its invaluable suggestions into practice immediately in my personal and professional life. If you’re at the end of your rope, this book will provide hope, help you get your life back on track, and greatly improve the odds that your loved one will seek help." -- Anne M. Fletcher, M.S., author of Inside Rehab and Sober for Good
“Finally there is a family-based treatment for addiction that works. Beyond Addiction is the first effective book addressed to families of those with substance abuse problems. Instead of the old bromides – detaching and boundary setting – that are based on assumptions of family helplessness, Beyond Addiction offers evidence-based methods for families to motivate and reinforce change for an addicted loved one. The focus here is on effectiveness training for families, using collaboration and kindness rather than confrontation to support behavior change. I highly recommend this book; it should be required reading if your loved one struggles with substance abuse.” -- Matthew McKay, Ph.D. ― author of Thoughts & Feelings and The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook
“Objectively written and conveyed with congenial authority, the book offers collective hope to families of substance abusers... Essential.” -- Kirkus
"[Beyond Addiction's] gentle, optimistic and explanatory approach offers hope by giving family members outlets besides fighting, feeling stress, or idly waiting for motivation to happen. The Book helpfully offers reminders that although no one can make another person change, there is much that can be done to make change seem appealing and possible." ― Publishers Weekly
"Full of useful information and practical suggestions...an important resource for families affected by drug and alcohol problems." ― Tulsa World
About the Author
Carrie Wilkens, PhD, is co-founder and clinical director of CMC and a dedicated practitioner and researcher of the most effective treatments for substance use problems and compulsive behaviors. Her expertise is regularly sought by the CBS Early Show; Fox News; Newsweek; O, The Oprah Magazine; and Psychology Today.
Nicole Kosanke, PhD, is director of evaluation and family services at CMC. In 2008 Dr. Kosanke was featured in an O, The Oprah Magazine article about her client’s experience in treatment at CMC, which was later published in O’s Big Book of Happiness: The Best of O.
Stephanie Higgs is an editor and writer dedicated to bridging the gap between helpful ideas and people who could use the help.
Product details
- Publisher : Scribner; Reprint edition (December 30, 2014)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 352 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1476709483
- ISBN-13 : 978-1476709482
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.38 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #14,198 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #33 in Codependency (Books)
- #38 in Alcoholism Recovery
- #41 in Substance Abuse Recovery
- Customer Reviews:
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All our loved ones who struggle in the wilderness with substance use and mental health challenges need us to partner with them, not judge them or give ultimatums. They need our conscious conversations and our openhearted endurance, not anger & lecturing.
The more I listen, the safer they feel. There are varying reasons underlying their substance use that they are still trying to understand. I have found that the more I seek to truly understand them, and ask them openended questions, the better our relationships are.
This book taught me that I choose what I will and won’t do with radical self-care as another foundation. This keeps me flexible and builds my resiliency to walk alongside them. I will never give up on them, and hope they never give up on themselves.
I’ve been a psychotherapist for over 30 years, am an author and workshop leader. I have two young adult sons who are in recovery in their own unique ways. So much of the well-intended “support” both my clients and I have received elsewhere was tragically dangerous for my sons and me.
Inviting their changes instead, I respect their paths and timing. Beyond Addiction is a must-read for anyone searching for their own answers and techniques that relieve anxiety and help us out of despair. This book teaches tools for the neuroplasticity we want which comes with being able to find clarity amidst confusion, adapting to tough situations with grace and strength.
Beyond Addiction and the Workbook for Family & Friends (by Foote, Carpenter & Wilkens) are foundations for my now more aware perspectives, compassionate listening, and consciously braver responses.
These two resources are must-reads for loved ones and treatment teams! It’s time to break stigmas and enable change with science-based newer approaches like this.
This book is not another "old school" book on addiction that tells families they have to force their loved one into rehab and totally detach from them. It's not another "tough love" book. Instead it teaches you how you can play an active, important role in affecting change in your loved one. Yes, you can actually *help* your loved one get better by using CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training): "a scientifically supported, evidence-based, clinically proven approach to helping families of substance abusers." According to the book, "CRAFT has three goals: 1.) to teach you skills to take care of yourself; 2.) to teach you skills you can use to help your loved one change; and 3.) to reduce substance use, period, whether your loved one gets formal treatment or not."
I won't lie to you. Some of the strategies in Beyond Addiction may come as a shock to you if you're used to reading and hearing about the old school approaches to addiction, which frequently tell us that we are helpless when it comes to assisting a loved one. The book's subtitle itself--"How Science and Kindness Help People Change"--should give you a clue that this book is very different. Using kindness to help a substance user change? Seriously?? Yes! And the authors explain the concept very thoroughly.
Beyond Addiction actually teaches family members and friends how to become empowered and make a huge difference in a substance user's life, using an actual plan. The book is broken down into four parts: What to Know; How to Cope; How to Help; and Live Your Life. You can choose to read the book in order or skip around, depending on what parts you think are most important to you at any given time. There are also interesting sidebars entitled "Good News" and "What's Hard About This." (I especially appreciated the "What's Hard About This" explanations, which are very clear, concise, and informative.)
This positive, science-based guide to helping a loved one was fascinating to me. It was incredibly refreshing to read an optimistic and compassionate approach to addiction treatment. (Note: CRAFT can also be used to motivate and reinforce change in other behaviors, too.) I wish this book was around a few years ago when my wife and I were first dealing with our son's addiction. It would've been fabulous to have been able to try the plan detailed in Beyond Addiction. I'm sure a lot of the verbal battles we had with our son back then could have been avoided.
If you have a loved one who is struggling with addiction or other compulsive behaviors, I highly recommend picking this book up. As it says on the inside flap, "This guide is designed not only to help someone change, but to help someone *want* to change." It's also full of hope, and that's a wonderful thing.
However, when the book transitions into behavior modification of the addict, it loses all value for me. The authors present a repeated goal of getting the addict into treatment, and to me that is a losing game. I don't like the behavioral approach to changing the addict. That's not where the focus should be, in my opinion. Trying to change anyone but yourself is a recipe for disappointment.
There are other community-based support programs for families of addicts and alcoholics which do a wonderful job of keeping the focus on the recovery of the family member. You'll find such groups anywhere you find 12-step programs, and if you are struggling with addiction in your family, I would strongly encourage you to look into those resources.
By all means, explore what this book has to say, but I personally would not encourage anyone to engage in techniques and tactics and practices with the specific goal of changing someone else's behavior.
Top reviews from other countries
This book is BY FAR the best of the lot, and if you want results, using the methods in this book offers you your best shot. I cannot recommend it highly enough, whether your waiting for "something" to happen, or your loved one is in rehab, or replace, BUY this book, DO the exercises, GIVE LIFE to the strategies therein.
I only wish this had been my first book, and not so deep into my journey.