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Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying Paperback – February 14, 2012
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Through their stories we come to appreciate the near-miraculous ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, and even choreograph their own final moments; we also discover the gifts—of wisdom, faith, and love—that the dying leave for the living to share.
Filled with practical advice on responding to the requests of the dying and helping them prepare emotionally and spiritually for death, Final Gifts shows how we can help the dying person live fully to the very end.
- Print length224 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateFebruary 14, 2012
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.56 x 8.44 inches
- ISBN-101451667256
- ISBN-13978-1451667257
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“Beautifully written, illuminating and reassuring…Final Gifts is truly a gift to us all.” —Judy Tatelbaum, author of The Courage to Grieve
“These richly told stories enable us to respond to the dying in new and authentic ways.” —Ira R. Byock, M.D., author of Dying Well: The Prospect for Growth at the End of Life
About the Author
Patricia Kelley has worked in hospice care since 1978. She formerly held positions as Clinical Director of Montgomery Hospice in Maryland and as Director of Health Systems Leadership at the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. She now works as a national and international consultant providing education and training on issues relating to hospice and palliative care. Patricia is also the author of Companion to Grief: Finding Consolation When Someone You Love Has Died.
Product details
- Publisher : Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition (February 14, 2012)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1451667256
- ISBN-13 : 978-1451667257
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.56 x 8.44 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,883 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #6 in Death
- #14 in Love & Loss
- #16 in Grief & Bereavement
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Maggie Callanan, R.N., has specialized in the care of the dying since 1981. She lectures widely to lay and professional audiences on death and dying, bereavement, and hospice care.
Maggie is the author of Final Journeys and co-author of Final Gifts. She was the first coordinator and contributing author of the "Dealing with Death" column in the American Journal of Nursing.
In 1995, she was named the Hospice Clinician of the Year and received the prestigious National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization’s "Heart of Hospice" award. She lives on the New England coast.
Patricia Kelley has worked in hospice care since 1978. She formerly held positions as Clinical Director of Montgomery Hospice in Maryland and as Director of Health Systems Leadership at the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. She now works as a national and international consultant providing education and training on issues relating to hospice and palliative care. Patricia is also the author of Companion to Grief: Finding Consolation When Someone You Love Has Died.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book provides enlightening and valuable information about dying. They describe it as an engaging read that comforts them. The stories are described as true and unique, with patterns that can be learned from. Readers mention it's helpful for caregivers to understand and care for loved ones as they near death. Overall, customers consider it a great gift for anyone seeking understanding and hope in this regard.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book informative and helpful. They say it offers valuable support in navigating the complexities of dying. Readers appreciate the heartwarming stories and find it fascinating and important.
"..."Final Gifts" is one of the most fascinating and important books I've ever read. It's about the journey of dying...." Read more
"...This poignant book offers invaluable support in navigating the complexities of dying, reminding us that it’s possible to live fully even in the face..." Read more
"...15 years ago from a friend when my own mother was in hospice and it was so helpful...." Read more
"...At the end of it, I felt peace, insight, and strength that I did not have...." Read more
Customers find the book engaging and easy to read. They say it's a must-read for anyone working in healthcare, with personal stories that are well-explained. The book is described as wonderful and enlightening.
"...It's about the journey of dying. This insightful book was written by two hospice nurses, Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, who introduce us to..." Read more
"...It is a must read! This book was given to me 15 years ago from a friend when my own mother was in hospice and it was so helpful...." Read more
"It was ok. But was expecting more from the hospice nursing community. Maybe a longer and more indepth book next time...." Read more
"...EVERYONE--regardless of educational level (it's a fast and easy read), personal or professional background...." Read more
Customers find the book comforting and informative. It explores thoughts, feelings, and emotions surrounding death. Readers say it helps them calm down and provide a peaceful passing. The book is described as heartfelt and compassionate, providing strength and solace during the last days.
"...Gifts, hospice nurses Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley offer a deeply moving and compassionate exploration of the experiences they’ve encountered..." Read more
"...case, I could read these stories again and again because of the awesome peace it has brought me. It really has changed my life...." Read more
"...What I appreciate most about the book is that it is empowering and comforting to both the loved ones of the dying and the dying themselves...." Read more
"...Each book has granted me more serenity, strength and solace during the last days of my mother's life...." Read more
Customers find the book's stories engaging and informative. They describe it as an easy read with a relatable style that uses a thesis to guide the narrative. The stories are true, with unique experiences but with patterns that readers can learn from. Readers enjoy the vignettes on various patients.
"...Each and every story is special and teaches us how to be there - really be there - for someone who's dying. It is our final gift...." Read more
"...I did enjoy the vignettes on the various patients - all different to one degree or another...." Read more
"The Personal, very different, and helpful stories, help guide those of us who know that the final journey of life is nearing for a loved one...." Read more
"...Even as a hospice nurse I found this book to be very educational and interesting...." Read more
Customers find this book helpful for those caring for loved ones as they near death. They say it provides great insight into caring for a loved one in hospice, and helps them be present during their mother's passing. The book allows caregivers to comfort the dying person and the conversations that will evolve. It also helps families through grief during the final days of their lives.
"...of this book, I was able to listen to my mothers wishes and help her go peacefully...." Read more
"This book is excellent for those on hospice or their caregiver, be their spouse, child or any person...." Read more
"This is the best book on grief for families during the final days of their lives one...." Read more
"...a treasure of information about being with, understanding and caring for loved ones as they near death...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book as a gift. They say it offers understanding, hope, and peace. The book highlights the valuable gifts of wisdom, faith, and love at the end.
"...They highlight the invaluable gifts of wisdom, faith, and love that those at the end of life impart to their loved ones, encouraging readers to..." Read more
"...It was the best source of helpful information. The gifts are from and to the patient...." Read more
"...The book Final Gifts is gift in itself. The authors provide wisdom, hope and encouragement to the families who are or have lost love ones...." Read more
"...But, as this book shows, the gifts we receive are real and long survive the grief...." Read more
Customers have different views on the book's content. Some find it heartfelt and helpful, causing healthy tears. Others feel it's too sad and depressing, with repetitive examples.
"This book had me in tears at many points, partly over the guilt I felt that when nursing my mother through the final year of terminal cancer, I did..." Read more
"...Yes, the work is often saddening, and we feel grief when a client with whom we've bonded dies...." Read more
"...This book is wonderful, not morbid or dreary ... it is extraordinarily helpful to understand the death process...." Read more
"...The experience was heartbreaking for me...." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2011I can still hear my father's voice pleading with me, "Kim, pull the car around! I've gotta go!" His frustration was palpable as he kept saying this over and over to me. He was deliriously sick, and you could just feel his struggle. He was in the hospital, which is where he'd been spending a great deal of time, and I thought, of course, that he was desperately trying to break out of the hospital and get back home. Not that I could blame him, but he was so sick that the idea of leaving the hospital was simply unthinkable. I had no idea that he was really trying to tell me something entirely different. Then a couple of weeks later, my dad died. And it wasn't until a year later, while I was reading an amazing book called "Final Gifts", that I finally understood what he was so urgently trying to say - I'm dying, Kim.
"Final Gifts" is one of the most fascinating and important books I've ever read. It's about the journey of dying. This insightful book was written by two hospice nurses, Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, who introduce us to the unique way people communicate their imminent deaths. Usually in symbolic language, the dying will tell us when their time is near, or some will ask for help to facilitate a peaceful journey. According to Callanan and Kelley, the most common way for the dying to explain the onset of death is to talk about taking a trip, like my dad did. They understand what's happening to them, but they express the next stage as a journey using a familiar mode of transport. The authors detail story after story of hospice patients who tell their families about their upcoming passages by saying, typically, they need to find their passports, or get in a ticket line, or find a map. Or like my dad, pull the car around. Expressions of movement and change characterize the stories throughout.
Callanan and Kelley discovered that their hospice patients had many similar experiences. A central phenomenon is what they call "nearing death awareness," which shouldn't be confused with a "near-death experience." They explain that nearing death awareness is when "the dying person remains inside the body, but at the same time becomes aware of a dimension that lies beyond. Rather than switching abruptly from one world to another, dying people apparently drift between the two." In "Final Gifts", the writers use anecdotes to illustrate the common patterns they witnessed among hospice patients. Each and every story is special and teaches us how to be there - really be there - for someone who's dying. It is our final gift. There is no greater offering than making those last days peacefully meaningful.
What makes "Final Gifts" so exceptional is that it guides us through a critical time. It helps us to be at our best to support someone we love during a time that is understood to be, and treated as, scary and uncertain. We can be the bridge from fear and anxiety to peace and calm. "Final Gifts" instructs on how to pick up the cues, and effectively participate, whether it's just listening or helping a dying man unravel an unresolved issue.
My dad didn't want to leave this world without telling me that he needed to go -- it was his time. If I had understood what he was trying to say, then it might've brought my dad untold peace and comfort. Instead, he finally said to me, "Kim, call the dispatcher. Tell him I'm gonna be late."
My dad hated being late.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2024In Final Gifts, hospice nurses Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley offer a deeply moving and compassionate exploration of the experiences they’ve encountered while caring for the terminally ill. Drawing from over twenty years of intimate interactions with patients at the end of life, this updated classic reveals the profound ways in which the dying communicate their needs, feelings, and the significance of their final moments.
Through their heartfelt narratives, Callanan and Kelley illuminate the near-miraculous connections that can occur as individuals approach death. They highlight the invaluable gifts of wisdom, faith, and love that those at the end of life impart to their loved ones, encouraging readers to cherish these moments of insight and clarity.
Final Gifts serves not only as a guide for those facing loss but also provides practical advice for helping loved ones prepare emotionally and spiritually for death. This poignant book offers invaluable support in navigating the complexities of dying, reminding us that it’s possible to live fully even in the face of mortality. Ultimately, Callanan and Kelley inspire us to honor the dying process with compassion, understanding, and love.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2024I have purchased this book so many times to share with anyone in the midst of the expected loss of a loved one. It is a must read! This book was given to me 15 years ago from a friend when my own mother was in hospice and it was so helpful. Recently a friend who went through the loss of a family member said they want to buy 15 copies to have on hand because it was so timely and helpful. I will keep buying this book when I need to have a copy on hand to share/give.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2023It was ok. But was expecting more from the hospice nursing community. Maybe a longer and more indepth book next time. People who are grieving need a little more.
Top reviews from other countries
- Andrea DitullioReviewed in Canada on September 3, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for those experiencing a love one dying or after they’ve passed.
So much of what Patricia and Maggie shared was relatable to my short 6 month palliative journey with my father. Being an RN myself you’d think I’d be able to understand what was happening in the moment relating to certain experiences such as the time I caught him talking, full conversation, with someone I couldn’t see. I remember thinking, oh this is it, here comes the end of life confusion. Or when he told me two hours before he passed, as he was sitting on the side of his bed, eyes closed, and a big smile accompanied by this cute little chuckle “okay baby, it’s time to meet my maker now.” I spent another hour with him and he peacefully passed an hour later. My only regret is reading this book 6 months after he passed. Everything about this book is useful, even if it doesn’t all apply to you. I couldn’t put it down.
- Ann CReviewed in India on February 15, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Increases our interpretations of what death involves
Invaluable read!
-
AngelesReviewed in Spain on February 8, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars Angeles
Insightful, educational, empathic. Of immense comfort to face the death of those you love and also my own mortality when my time comes
- KHReviewed in Germany on March 10, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Comforting
I have not finished the book but am glad I got it. It took two weeks longer to get then expected. But the sellers were great, responsive and incredibly cooperative! I lost my mom two months ago and wish I had read this before. Better late than never. I do indeed recognize much of what the authors refer to in hindsight. Although my mother could not be characterized as terminally ill we knew she was dying after never bouncing back from a bout with pneumonia. She was 89, had a mostly gorgeous life and her death was also peaceful. I think the smartest thing we did was to bring her home under Hospice Care. Truly angels on earth...thank you for this book!
- Lianne BeerReviewed in the United Kingdom on May 8, 2014
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, insightful and strangely comforting
I was looking for a book to offer support and guidance to me, when my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and given weeks to live. I was so glad I bought it. It gave me a much greater understanding of the behaviour and needs of the dying. It did make me cry, but that in itself was helpful in my grieving process. It is written with real compassion and so easy to read and understand. I found it truly invaluable at what was a very sad and difficult time. Although written for the American market, it is equally applicable to any country. If you feel you want to have both a better understanding and to be able to offer greater support your loved one at the end of their life, then this is the book for you.
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