Guys Like Girls Who ...

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Chapter One

Looking for an answer to the title of this book? Then consider the following: guys like girls who ... are born.

Yeah ... that's it. It's actually pretty simple. You were born, weren't you? If you are reading this, then most likely you are alive; therefore at some point there's a good chance you were born. If this isn't the case, then I don't know what to say. If you were born, keep reading.

And you may not know this about yourself, but you were born with a very specific DNA trait in your body. It's called girl. Congratulations on being born; you win. You were born with your girl-ness; therefore guys are going to like you. So, if I could give a simpler title to this book, it would be ...

Guys Like Girls. The end.

Chad: Hey, Ryan, do you like girls?

Ryan: Um ... yeah, dude, what kind of question is that?

Chad: Why do you like them?

Ryan: I don't know, man, they're girls ... Why wouldn't I like them? They're girls. I like girls, okay?

Seriously, this is what it boils down to. Not too much more is needed in this equation. You are a girl, right? Great ... then you have the most important part down. The hardest part is already done. Now, there may be some traits that make you more or less desirable to certain types of guys. There are behaviors and characteristics that attract certain guys and repel others. Then of course there are different stages of the whole guy/girl process depending on your age. But ... very simply, stop and just realize that we are already made for one another. What I mean is this: God made us incomplete. Our differences complement each other.

Girls think about attraction, dating, boyfriends, and basically all things romantic much more than guys. This may not apply to every girl, but the majority of girls think about these things from a younger age than boys. It's because your brain develops earlier than ours. Shhhhh ... don't tell any guys I said that.

Your brains are designed so that both hemispheres work together simultaneously from an early age. I'm talking about that multitasking stuff you're really great at. Talking on the phone while doing your homework while painting your toenails while making food while laying out your outfit for the next day while thinking about the thing someone said that was really cute today. You know ... multitasking. Even if you don't think you have this gift, the odds are you are better at it than most guys. Guys, on the other hand, think about one thing at a time. Then they think about something different.

Here's another example: guys are not always gentle. If there were only guys on earth, then there would be a lot more angry stuff going on. We would smack each other a lot more, be less sensitive, and so on. What I mean is that a girl is sometimes the natural reminder that we need to be gentle, respectful, sensitive, and caring. It's almost like a girl reminds us of the grace of God without us consciously knowing it.

God has the incredibly rough, tough, grungy, brute strength that we can recognize when boys are wrestling in the dirt. But he is also an unbelievably kind, sensitive, graceful, and calming God, which are qualities that we often think of as more feminine. I'm just generalizing here, so don't get the impression I'm saying that girls only have these traits or that guys just like to fight. I'm simply giving you a few examples of our differences here as food for thought. I'm sure girls wrestle in the dirt too ... so if you're a girl and you like dirt, more power to you.

And no matter what you like or dislike, what your strengths or weaknesses are, whether you'd rather spend an afternoon reading a great book, hanging out with friends, or playing basketball, or all three, the most important thing is to embrace who you are and to value how God made you. Confidence and a genuine acceptance of yourself are the most attractive qualities in both guys and girls.

But not everything is simple. For example, what happens if you (a) are born and (b) like yourself, and guys still don't like you? Here's a letter from Kim:

Hey, Chad, I'm sure you get like a million e-mails from people asking you about dating, but I have a question, well, actually a problem.... I do value myself. I have good morals, I like who I am, and I am not looking to date a ton of guys. I am involved at my school, in sports, and I go to youth group and I have a lot of friends. So why don't any guys really like me? I mean, I have a lot of guy friends, but I want more than that. I want guys to be interested in me and actually be attracted to me. Why doesn't anyone want to have a relationship with me?

Pretty honest question, isn't it? And the answer to her question is that guys DO ACTUALLY LIKE HER. She probably just can't see it yet. It can be difficult if they don't like you in the way you want them to-as a girlfriend instead of as a girl friend. I'm sure it's confusing for Kim to respect herself and NOT do stupid things to attract guys (you know what I'm talking about). Maybe Kim sees one of her friends who doesn't show self-respect and a bunch of guys seem interested in her. How does that make any sense? It's the old quantity-versus-quality idea. She may not realize that even though she doesn't get as much attention as, say, someone who is really flirty, she is going to attract healthier guys later. Kim can't see the future, but her decisions are helping to shape a healthier one. Trust me-one healthy guy is better than one hundred unhealthy guys.

So, take a long-term look at guy/girl relationships. And in the short term, give us guys a break. Life can be tough enough. We're already dealing with puberty. Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to worry about your voice cracking at any moment without warning when you are talking in front of class or to a girl you think is cute? Well, let's just say it's awful. We are trying to figure ourselves out and, believe me, that can be tough.

Guys are also on the journey to figure out qualities in girls that we respond to. So take a time-out to examine a few of your qualities with this quiz. Then, as an example, I'll give you some of what I consider my best qualities, and you can write down yours.

A Quality Quiz

1. Which of these activities best describes what you do when you hang out with friends?

a. make sure everyone has something to eat or drink, and someone to talk to

b. have great one-on-one conversations with a few of your friends

c. entertain the group with your latest crazy story

2. To unwind after a hectic day of exams at school, you would choose to:

a. be active by taking a jog or exercising after being stuck in a desk all day.

b. watch the movie or TV episode you had to TiVo while you were studying.

c. be creative-write in your journal, snap some cool photos, or rearrange your bedroom.

3. If your "good skills" had to fit into one of these categories, which would it be?

a. physical (like pogo stick or bow-hunting skills)

b. intelligence (like computer-hacking skills)

c. creative (like drawing ligers and stuff)

Add up your score: A = 3 B = 2 C = 1

Your results: 8-9

* You go out of your way for friends to let them know that you care for them.

* You "like to move it, move it" (hear King Julian in Madagascar singing) and, as a result, are fit and healthy in body and mind.

* You are a disciplined and determined person.

5-7

* You are a great listener and people love to speak to you.

* You know how to relax and, as a result, others feel comfortable around you.

* You were blessed with "brains."

3-4

* You are very social and people love to hang out with you.

* You love to express yourself creatively.

* You are inspired by the world around you.

My qualities (not all, but probably the significant ones):

I happen to be undefeated in thumb wrestling

I am an amazing parallel parker (thank you very much)

I really like finding interesting ways to explain things (i.e., relationships).

I have a knack for being an explorer. I like sleeping in the woods and other strange places.

I go out of my way for my family and friends to let them know I care.

I work well with other people.

I am dependable.

I can catch a fish with my bare hands (once anyway, but every time in my mind).

What are some of your top qualities? It's important to discover these and to feel comfortable knowing what they are. So what's great about you? Please ... do tell.

my qualities

In addition to all of those wonderful, witty things you listed, remember that you still have the number one characteristic that guys go for: you were born. So, thanks for getting up every day and being a girl. Guys appreciate that about you. Keep that in mind as you continue on. You will always have that quality that attracts guys. It's up to you to understand it and make sure it is a positive thing. Will all guys like you? I hope not. So many teens can get caught up in wanting the immediate attraction of a whole flock of boys, and, yes, I said flock. What's important isn't to attract guys but to attract good guys to your life. There is a world of difference.

Were you born? (Check one, please.)

() Yes

() No

() Maybe

If you checked Yes, please proceed to the next chapter. If you checked No or Maybe, well, that's just weird.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Guys Like Girls Who ...by CHAD EASTHAM Copyright © 2008 by Chad Eastham. Excerpted by permission.
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