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Don't Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life Paperback – March 3, 2020
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We've all been there: stuck in a cycle of what-ifs, plagued by indecision, paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. Nobody wants to live a life of constant overthinking, but it doesn't feel like something we can choose to stop doing. It feels like something we're wired to do, something we just can't escape. But is it?
Anne Bogel's answer is no. Not only can you overcome negative thought patterns that are repetitive, unhealthy, and unhelpful, you can replace them with positive thought patterns that will bring more peace, joy, and love into your life. In Don't Overthink It, you'll find actionable strategies that can make an immediate and lasting difference in how you deal with questions both small--Should I buy these flowers?--and large--What am I doing with my life? More than a book about making good decisions, Don't Overthink It offers you a framework for making choices you'll be comfortable with, using an appropriate amount of energy, freeing you to focus on all the other stuff that matters in life.
- Print length224 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherBaker Books
- Publication dateMarch 3, 2020
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.51 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-100801094461
- ISBN-13978-0801094460
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"Reading Anne Bogel's words feels like having a conversation with your calmest, most reasonable friend--the one who gives you the advice you most need to hear. Get ready to feel happier, less panicked, and more at peace before you even finish the book."--Mary Laura Philpott, bestselling author of I Miss You When I Blink
We've all been there--stuck in a cycle of what-ifs, plagued by indecision, paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. Nobody wants to live like this, but overthinking doesn't feel like something we can choose to stop doing. It feels like something we're wired to do, something we just can't escape. But is it?
Anne Bogel's answer is no. You can overcome negative thought patterns that are repetitive, unhealthy, and unhelpful and replace them with positive ones that will bring more peace, joy, and love into your life. In Don't Overthink It, you'll find actionable strategies that can make an immediate and lasting difference in how you deal with questions both small--Should I buy these flowers?--and large--What am I doing with my life? More than a book about good decision-making, Don't Overthink It offers you a framework for making choices you'll be comfortable with, allowing you to use an appropriate amount of energy and freeing you to focus on all the other stuff that matters in life.
Anne Bogel is the author of Reading People and I'd Rather Be Reading and creator of the blog Modern Mrs Darcy and the podcast What Should I Read Next? Her popular book lists and reading guides have established her as a tastemaker among readers, authors, and publishers. She lives in Louisville, Kentucky. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
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Product details
- Publisher : Baker Books; 1st edition (March 3, 2020)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0801094461
- ISBN-13 : 978-0801094460
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.51 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #87,537 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,116 in Christian Self Help
- #1,412 in Christian Personal Growth
- #2,337 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
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Some ideas from the book that are helpful to me:
1. Overthinking "lavishes mental energy on things that don't deserve it...living well depends on thinking well about things that matter."
2. "Complete the cycle"- completely finish your task before moving on or getting distracted. Ex. Wash, dry, fold and put away clothes. Deal with paperwork AND file it away in it's proper place.
3. Don't duplicate work. Her example is making a packing list- write it up once, add as needed, but then you just pull out the list each time you travel, instead of trying to remember what you need. -- Clear that mental clutter.
4. Let your values drive your decisions.
5."Analysis Paralysis" - sometimes it's time to decide- even if you don't have ALL the info, you have enough to make a good choice.
6. Shift to an attitude of abundance and gratitude. Buy The Flowers!- if that little thing will bring you joy. Make the choice once- that you will, & don't waste the energy agonizing over it again.
7. Simplify routine decisions: having a signature dish to make everytime u have guests reduces the stress of deciding what to make.
I don't read many "personal growth" books, but this was a quick read & helpful. Many of Anne's examples were so like dilemmas I have agonized over myself, so her solutions are also practical & simple.
At times, this proclivity for overthinking has served me well, leading me to act with purpose and intentionality. More often than not, though, overthinking has led to frustration, procrastination, and an inability to remain present because my mind is otherwise occupied.
In the past few years I’ve made great strides in my battle against overthinking, but I still have quite a ways to go. Which is why I was thrilled when I learned that the forthcoming book from Anne Bogel (better known around the internet as Modern Mrs. Darcy) would be addressing this very topic. And as part of the launch team for Don’t Overthink It, I had the opportunity to read an advanced reader copy!
The book’s premise is perfectly summed up in its subtitle: Make Better Decisions, Stop Second Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life. Those are pretty big claims from a small tome, but after reading it, I can say that Don’t Overthink It delivers on its promises.
In the book’s opening chapter, Anne defines overthinking as “those times when we lavish mental energy on things that don’t deserve it. Those times when we can’t seem to think about anything else, even though we know our thoughts are better spent elsewhere.”
Anne herself is no stranger to overthinking, having had her brain space hijacked by everything from travel plans to grocery purchases. And she knows that her readers can sympathize with this pitfall of getting caught in a loop of unproductive—or even destructive—thought. Overthinking can look like worry or fretting about the small stuff or second-guessing ourselves. Regardless of the form it takes, overthinking is repetitive, unhealthy, and unhelpful, depleting our mental energy and rendering us incapable of focusing on the things that actually matter.
Thankfully, we overthinkers are not condemned to a lifetime of mental imprisonment. According to Anne, it is possible to replace negative thought patterns with beneficial ones by following a three-part plan: 1) laying a solid foundation to conquer overthinking; 2) conquering unhealthy thought patterns in the moment and implementing practices that keep us from falling into these patterns in the first place; and 3) learning how to smartly think our way into life’s simple pleasures.
In Don’t Overthink It, Anne digs into the specifics of this plan. She shows readers how to monitor our thinking, identifies potential triggers, and lists ways we can avoid them. As someone who has overthought my tendency to overthink, I was familiar with a lot of these concepts; still, I found it helpful and heartening to know that I am not alone in succumbing to these mental pitfalls. I also appreciated the reminder that I get to CHOOSE what to think about and that I don’t have to remain a victim to my thoughts. Just knowing that overthinking does not need to be a chronic condition was freeing for me.
Many of the tools suggested in this book involve eliminating thinking altogether through steps such as streamlining decisions (e.g., eating or wearing the same thing every day), outsourcing, and getting clear on our values which brings clarity to our decision-making. I’ve already adopted may of these tools in recent years and can attest to their effectiveness.
No matter how much we do to minimize overthinking, it’s bound to happen from time to time. To that end, I found the most helpful part of the book to be the section dedicated to strategies for interrupting overthinking as it happens. I actually made a list of these tips in an Evernote file on my phone, and plan to pull them up next time I find myself mentally spinning. In the weeks since I read this book, my most-used strategy from the list has been “considering a different view” by asking myself “what would I like about this if I liked it? what could I consider to be good here?” These questions quickly snap me out of rumination-mode and redirect my thinking towards solving the problem at hand.
I loved the book’s final few chapters on bringing joy into everyday life. Anne models how we can shift our mindset to expect good things from less-than-good situations. She also offers detailed strategies for using rituals to become more mindful, and gives ideas for learning how to embrace abundance through small, simple splurges—something that can be difficult for veteran overthinkers!
If you have read any of Anne Bogel’s other books, or are familiar with her blog, you will know that her writing is warm and relatable, balancing personal anecdotes with solid principles and actionable ideas. While this book is more repetitive than I would have liked, it’s still a quick, memorable read that I can wholeheartedly recommend. It would also pair wonderfully with Emily P. Freeman’s The Next Right Thing, which looks at the same concepts from a spiritual/soul perspective.
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I always find myself realising that a lot of the things I read in these types of books are things I generally already knew about, however, the way it is presented always helps to give me a fresh outlook and understanding of what I may have already known about.
I really liked the authors use of real-world examples of situations where we overthink things-wether it was something she experienced herself or the experiences of people she knows-as it gave me a great way of seeing exactly how overthinking in these situations tends to be so unnecessary and ends up wasting so much time and energy which can be used to better effect. I also liked how at the end of each chapter she gets you to look more closely at yourself and use what you’ve read beforehand to see how overthinking affects you but also ways of then making small but meaningful changes to help get yourself out of these situations in the future.
On a final note, I understand that there is a stereotype of women overthinking more than men, but I found that the author at times focused too much on this which especially in the early stages of the book made me feel as though this book wasn’t really intended for me, but once I got over this feeling I very much enjoyed the book and most importantly I gained a lot from it, which is what really matters at the end of the day.