I am a clinical psychologist and I have found this book very stimulating and it has led me to think more about connections in my patients as well as my own. It's important to look at my patients' support systems. Many have very limited support systems and many lack the trust to try developing them; it's too frightening and perceived as too dangerous. I find that sometimes I become that support system, and that our reception staff sometimes joins that system. Having worked in clinics with differing views of how to interact with patients, I have seen the value of the front desk and the person that answers the phone. I now work in a Christian counseling center and the difference I see here and my last clinical setting is enlightening and a bit sad. I worked for 16 years in the last one before this one and watched the "connecting" go from very good to nil, all because of an office manager who viewed the clinic as like any other business. What a tragedy! The reaction of patients was as one would expect, a feeling of alienation and a perception that no one really cared about them beyond their payment for "services". It was one reason I left, though I only realized it later. It is unfortunately the case in many doctors' offices now. What a pleasure it is to work where connecting starts with the first contact.
The book also helped me further realize that too much of my own connection was with my work and my patients. There was a time that I had close friendships and sadly I have lost those and failed to build new ones of sufficient depth. I see so many who fear friendship and so many who are estranged from family or have a member who has cut himself/herself off from family. Hallowell doesn't address this as much as I think he should have, but Laura Davis does in "I thought We'd Never Speak Again". Hallowell's "Dare to Forgive" is an excellent supplement to this book.
I really have no remaining family of origin except for an estranged sister and I have yet to decide what to do about that relationship. I have 2 nuclear families in a way and re-connecting with ex- and steps is going well. Here I have been indulging in something Hallowell integrates beautifully into his book; he uses personal experience in a way that enhances his points. His other books are also very personal,something I find refreshing; it seems natural to him and says a lot about the kind of therapist he is. I guess I included personal information as a way of learning about myself. The book had a strong impact on me and I strongly recommend it, as I will to some of my patients. Hallowell's writing about his religious beliefs was also refreshing,especially since my church family means to me.
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