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Nuclear Jellyfish: A Novel (Serge Storms) Hardcover – January 27, 2009
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“Dorsey’s brilliantly, profanely funny 11th novel…zips along like P.G. Wodehouse’s best work.”
—Richmond Times-Dispatch
Tim Dorsey’s outrageously zany, gleefully violent, and uproariously funny Nuclear Jellyfish marks the triumphant return of lovable, thrill-killing Florida historian and tireless civic booster Serge A. Storms. Thebestselling author of Atomic Lobster, Triggerfish Twist, and Florida Roadkill, Dorsey can match Carl Hiaasen punch-for-punch when it comes to fictionally depicting Sunshine State madness—and he’s taken his rightful place alongside Christopher Moore in the pantheon of top American humorists. Nuclear Jellyfish is a veritable WMD of radioactive hilarity—as Denver’s Rocky Mountain News so aptly puts it, “It doesn’t get any better.”
- Print length320 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherWilliam Morrow
- Publication dateJanuary 27, 2009
- Dimensions6 x 1.05 x 9 inches
- ISBN-100061432660
- ISBN-13978-0061432668
The chilling story of the abduction of two teenagers, their escape, and the dark secrets that, years later, bring them back to the scene of the crime. | Learn more
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From Publishers Weekly
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From the Back Cover
Just when you thought it was safe to go online . . . Serge has returned!
That loveable collector of trivia, souvenirs, and murder methods is back with a new A‑Tour of Florida. And this time he's out to set the record straight!
Serge is upset that his beloved state isn't getting its proper recognition, so he signs on with the big Internet travel services. But his new employers aren't exactly sure they want to send their customers to Serge's favorite haunts—nor do they want to provide tips on how to keep from getting killed on vacation.
Serge couldn't disagree more, and he sets up his own wildcat site, hyper‑blogging his way down the coast with his perpetually hammered sidekick, Coleman.
Unfortunately Serge's Web presence catches the attention of his nemesis, Agent Mahoney, and the chase is on.
Meanwhile, professional robbery crews have begun targeting trade show exhibitors, who may or may not be what they seem. Bodies begin piling up, which is less than usual for the locale—except this time it involves rare postcards. Serge has had enough! He's forced into the only logical course of action—go shopping at the Home Depot.
And this only raises more questions:
Who is tutoring strippers through the community college?
What sparked the grudge match between coin and stamp enthusiasts?
How'd the astronaut in diapers get involved?
Why does Serge have to stop at the NASCAR superstore?
Where did all these diamonds come from? And does Lynyrd Skynyrd hold the key to everything?
It all starts with a tragic tattoo parlor mishap and soon nobody is safe, especially the person on the Robert De Niro stool, because, after all, Serge has to sit there or what's the point of life?
But wait! You say you want more? Serge says, You got it!
Guns, drugs, bloody crime scenes, historically relevant sex, library quiet time, glow‑in‑the dark deformities, hotel drink coupons, a naked woman in a shark cage, and John Travolta.
It's time to sign on with Serge and see where the twisting, sun‑splashed trail leads in . . . Nuclear Jellyfish!
About the Author
Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the Tampa Tribune from 1987 to 1999, and is the author of twenty-one novels: Pope of Palm Beach, Clownfish Blues, Coconut Cowboy, Shark Skin Suite, Tiger Shrimp Tango, The Riptide Ultra-Glide, When Elves Attack, Pineapple Grenade, Electric Barracuda, Gator A-Go-Go, Nuclear Jellyfish, Atomic Lobster, Hurricane Punch, The Big Bamboo, Torpedo Juice, Cadillac Beach, The Stingray Shuffle, Triggerfish Twist, Orange Crush, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, and Florida Roadkill. He lives in Tampa, FL.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Nuclear Jellyfish
A NovelBy Tim DorseyHarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Copyright © 2009 Tim DorseyAll right reserved.
ISBN: 9780061432668
Chapter One
Jacksonville
Midnight.
Two young men walked along the bank of the St. Johns River, sporting shaved heads, sleeveless T-shirts and bituminous eyes that proudly announced: minimum wage 4 life. They gripped baseball bats halfway up the barrels.
"I hate fuckin' bums."
"So where are they?"
"Supposed to be a bunch of them right around here."
"Just like fuckin' bums."
There had been a light rain, and warm mist rose from the road. Work boots slapped across glistening tar and splashed through moonlit puddles. They approached the underpass of the Fuller Warren Bridge.
"Where the hell are those damn bums?"
"Hold up."
"What is it?"
"Over there."
"Where?"
"Shhhhh. Get your camcorder ready . . ."
A two-tone 1971 AMC Javelin with split upholstery sat in darkness and trash beneath a downtown bridge over the St. Johns River.
"Theories abound concerning the phenomenon of the nation's trash elite inexorably percolating down to Florida like industrial toxins reaching our aquifers . . ."
A beer can popped. "You're doing it again."
Serge wrote furiously in his notebook. "Doing what?"
"Talking to yourself."
"No I wasn't." More writing. ". . . This travel writer places his money on time-release scumbag DNA . . ."
Coleman burped. "You always talk to yourself and then say you're not."
"I am? Really? That's embarrassing." He leaned over his notebook. ". . . The scumbag genetic factor is like hereditary blood disease or male-pattern baldness. At progressive age milestones, a series of rusty, chain-link twists in the double helix trigger a sequence of social tumors: Buy a pit bull, buy an all-terrain vehicle, get a DUI, sponsor a series of blue-ribbon slapping matches with your wife in the middle of the street, discharge a gun indoors, fail to appear in court, discharge fireworks indoors, get a DUI, forget where you put your Oxycontin, crash your all-terrain vehicle into your pit bull, spend money to replace missing front teeth on large-mouth-bass mailbox, get stretchered away by ambulance for reasons you don't remember, appear on COPS for a DUI, run out the back door when warrants are served and, in a trademark spasm of late-stage dirtballism, move to Florida . . ."
Serge finished the transcription and turned to a fresh page. There was a period of silence in the two-tone Javelin (orange and green) sitting under the Fuller Warren Bridge. Then, a crunching of wax paper. A soggy tuna sandwich appeared. A travel mug of cold coffee came off the dashboard.
"Serge," said Coleman. "What did you mean before, ?We're on stakeout'? We're not police."
"Common mistake everyone makes, like the Constitution's reserve clause for states' rights. Just because cops do it, doesn't mean we can't." Serge took a sip from the mug. "This is our new job."
Coleman finished unwrapping the sandwich. "I thought our new job was visiting hotels to fill out checklists for that travel website."
"And on every hotel listing, there's a section called ?local things to do.' "
"I'm not sure the websites want to send their customers under bridges at night in dicey parts of town."
"That's my offbeat niche: I give the ¬people what they want before they know they want it."
"But your new boss specifically said no more offbeat reports."
"Everyone does what their bosses ask, and that's precisely why you need to distinguish yourself from the herd." Serge killed the coffee. "I stun them into paralyzed respect with my withering insubordination. First impressions are important."
"They usually call security."
"Because I made an impression."
Coleman checked one of his pants pockets, then another. He pulled out his hand and raised the twisted corner of a Baggie to his eyes. "Where'd it all go? Did mice chew through here? Oh well . . ." He bent over.
"Thought you'd outgrown that."
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone now knows coke is fucked up. You had an excuse for a while, because our hypocritical government lost all credibility by lumping pot in with crack to court the weed-bigot vote. Meanwhile, congressmen crammed all orifices with huge wads of cash from tobacco and liquor lobbies. But who would have guessed they were actually right about that stupid white shit?"
Coleman raised his head and sniffled. "I just do a little bump now and then so I can stay up and keep drinking beer."
"For a second I thought you weren't being productive."
Coleman's head suddenly snapped to the side. He pointed out Serge's window. "What was that?"
Serge turned. "What?"
"Something moved under the bridge."
Serge returned to his notebook. "Nothing's there. You're hallucinating again."
Coleman squinted a few more seconds, then shrugged. He stuck his tongue inside the empty bag and reached under the seat for another Schlitz. "We need to make some money."
"That's what I'm doing now." Serge flipped a notebook page, stopped and tapped his chin with a pen. "I need travel-writing tunes." He reached for his iPod, synched it with an RF transmitter to the Javelin's radio and cranked the volume.
" . . . Fly high, oh, Freebird, yeah! . . ."
Coleman rewrapped his tuna sandwich. "You've been listening to Skynyrd all day."
"We're in Jacksonville. I'm required to listen to Skynyrd."
"Why? Skynyrd's from Alabama."
Serge began punching the steering wheel like a speed bag. "Everyone thinks they're from Alabama! They're Floridians! Apocryphal motherfuckers . . ."
"Okay, okay, they're from Florida." Coleman set a wax ball on the dashboard. "I don't know this stuff like you."
Serge pointed at the ball. "You're messing up my horizon."
"The sandwich is soggy."
"Soggy's better."
"Fuck that shit."
"Your little chestnuts complete my life."
"So Skynyrd's really from Florida?"
"Too many of our state's native accomplishments are credited elsewhere. First Skynyrd and Alabama, then everyone thinks the Allman Brothers are from Georgia."
"They're not?"
"South Daytona Beach." Serge flipped down the sun visor and gazed up at a photo attached with rubber bands.
"You sure keep looking at that picture a lot."
"I think I'm in love for the first time in my life."
Continues...
Excerpted from Nuclear Jellyfishby Tim Dorsey Copyright © 2009 by Tim Dorsey. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Product details
- Publisher : William Morrow; 1st edition (January 27, 2009)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 320 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0061432660
- ISBN-13 : 978-0061432668
- Item Weight : 1.05 pounds
- Dimensions : 6 x 1.05 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,775,271 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,098 in Humorous American Literature
- #12,500 in Humorous Fiction
- #22,398 in Murder Thrillers
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the Tampa Tribune from 1987 to 1999 and is the author of ten previous novels: Florida Roadkill, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, Orange Crush, Triggerfish Twist, The Stingray Shuffle, Cadillac Beach, Torpedo Juice, The Big Bamboo, Hurricane Punch, and Atomic Lobster. He lives in Tampa, Florida.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers enjoy the humor and find the book entertaining. They describe the story as interesting with unusual plotlines and neat twists. The pacing is described as fast and makes time fly on road trips. Readers appreciate the offbeat characters and Florida history. However, some readers feel the book lacks interest and has no good point. Opinions differ on the writing style - some find it well-written, while others consider it weird.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers enjoy the humor in the book. They find it entertaining and a comedic break from drama and suspense. The book is described as delightful, hard to put down, and worth reading.
"...Action! Adventure! Belly-laughs! - this one has it all!..." Read more
"Dorsey is always a fun read. Serge is a crazy character and the stories always have interesting Florida history. Worthwhile." Read more
"...Always great to have a comedic break from drama and suspense and sit back relax and have a good time with a humorous read...." Read more
"...he does it with a style and panache and creativity that also my me smile and laugh. I just hope I never get Serge angry at me." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's story. They find the characters quirky and the storylines unusual with interesting twists and turns. Readers appreciate the accurate social commentary and creative endings. The stories feature action, adventure, and interesting Florida history.
"...Action! Adventure! Belly-laughs! - this one has it all!..." Read more
"...Serge is a crazy character and the stories always have interesting Florida history. Worthwhile." Read more
"...Is this a good ride? A frantic one, for sure. Some neat twists and turns but somewhat linear..." Read more
"...are so many references to events in past books, but it's a worthy addition to a saga that I hope doesn't end." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's pacing. They find it fast-paced and well-written, making time pass quickly on road trips. The book is described as great casual reading.
"...As with nearly all of Dorsey's madcap mayhem books, this is a fast read and a well-written tale...." Read more
"Good Serge novel. Fast moving with a bunch of characters. The bad guys always get it in the end, front & around the neck." Read more
"...of Serge's travels up and down the East Coast will make this a quick read for most...." Read more
"...Hysterically funny and makes time fly on a road trip. Recommend to anyone who enjoys the Tim Dorsey series. We love his books and audio books...." Read more
Customers find the characters and storylines offbeat and unusual. They also say the book is a fun read with crazy Serge.
"Dorsey is always a fun read. Serge is a crazy character and the stories always have interesting Florida history. Worthwhile." Read more
"...fiction filled with Florida history, lots of laughs, and a zany cast of characters. Another great book from Dorsey!" Read more
"Good Serge novel. Fast moving with a bunch of characters. The bad guys always get it in the end, front & around the neck." Read more
"...This was my first Dorsey book and I loved it. Offbeat characters and unusual story lines. Nothing is normal here." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's history. They find it entertaining and informative, teaching them about Florida.
"...Fantastic and funny crime fiction filled with Florida history, lots of laughs, and a zany cast of characters. Another great book from Dorsey!" Read more
"...Lots of laugh out loud fun and lots of Florida history. Makes you want to party with Coleman and visit Florida!" Read more
"...the same pattern as all Dorsey books, crimes, serial murder, and Florida history. Always entertaining." Read more
"...and most of all, Tim Dorsey, for making me laugh and teaching me about Florida!" Read more
Customers have mixed opinions about the writing style. Some find it well-written and engaging, while others find it hard to keep their interest with a weird style.
"...all of Dorsey's madcap mayhem books, this is a fast read and a well-written tale...." Read more
"Poorly written, not funny, this novel is a waste of time. The author does not come close to Carl Hiasson, whom he is clearly trying to imitate." Read more
"...Tim Dorsey is a genuinely gifted writer. As always, looking passionately forward to the next installment.♥️" Read more
"...Hard to hold readers interest.Very weird writing style.I will not purchase any more of this author's books." Read more
Customers find the book uninteresting and difficult to read. They mention it's not their kind of book, with a weird writing style and lack of a good story point.
"...Dorsey has explored so many ways to kill people.' His books are just plan wacko!" Read more
"...There seemed to be no good point to the story." Read more
"Poorly written, not funny, this novel is a waste of time. The author does not come close to Carl Hiasson, whom he is clearly trying to imitate." Read more
"Unfortunate but this iis not my kind of book." Read more
Reviews with images
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Tim Dorsey Rules
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on February 5, 2012Tim Dorsey does it yet again with another one of his hilarious Serge A. Storms adventures!!! This time around, Serge (Florida historian/vigilantee/escaped mental patient) and his ever-faithfull (and always wasted) buddy Coleman, tackle a ruthless band of jewel thieves that leads them up and down the Atlantic coast on a non-stop, high-octane adventure throught the Sunshine State. Action! Adventure! Belly-laughs! - this one has it all! Years from now, literary historians will hail this book as, "Tim Dorsey at his prime."
Psst! For all you newcomers to the exciting world of Serge Storms - you've got to check this character out! Imagine: mix a dash of the lovable Florida serial killer Dexter...a smidgen of the mischevious antics of Bugs Bunny...the clueless charm of Han Solo (think: "Boring conversation anyway")....mix together...and then add a heaping helping of 100% pure clinical insanity!... and you've just barely scratched the surface of: who is Serge A. Storms? I guarentee that after you read this novel, you'll be thinking two things: (1) I've just gotta read another one of Tim Dorsey's books! and (2) Why the heck hasn't Hollywood made a Serge (actor Tom Cavanagh - you've got my vote!) motion picture!?!. If not, Amazon will gladly refund your money. (just kidding!)
To paraphrase Natalie Portman in "Garden State" when she gives Zach Braff her headphones for him to listen to the The Shins song "New Slang", "This (book) will change your life, I swear."
- Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2019Dorsey is always a fun read. Serge is a crazy character and the stories always have interesting Florida history. Worthwhile.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2008All right, here we go again! Number eleven and Serge and Coleman are still alive! [Not so sure about Coleman.] We're off the boat and once again traversing the Flori-duh sand spit. In a 1971 Javelin. [You gotta be kidding!] Rooting out the really bad guys. Thugs, so to speak. Led by the notorious Eel. [We all learn the connection between Eel and Nuclear Jellyfish.] We're focusing on the cheaper motels that host the smaller conventions and exhibitions and trade shows, such as coin collectors, and people, like Howard, who sell Flori-duh-iana. And who are transporting gems. Oh, and while Serge is trying to start and restart his travel service, unique in that it highlights important places where super- and megastars stayed and played, even momentarily, he is also dealing with Story. An English lit major, perchance a barracuda hooker, and a less-than-successful stripper who knows a whole lot of trivialities, sometimes even more than Serge! [No way!]
Did I forget to tell you that Mahoney is out? And on Serge's trail? And about Johnny Vegas, the Accidental Virgin? And Sh-teve? Well, I guess you'll just need to find out about these folks all by yourselves.
Is this a good ride? A frantic one, for sure. Some neat twists and turns but somewhat linear [even tho the center third of the book is a flashback. Or at least it was intended to be a flashback. Never mind...] Dorsey always intrigues when it comes to "offing" the bad guy. I'm not always certain his techniques work in "real life", so to speak. Like the butane lighter thing. Nevertheless, I think there should be a footnote, something like "Do not attempt this without professional or adult supervision."
As with nearly all of Dorsey's madcap mayhem books, this is a fast read and a well-written tale. There are many, many plot jumps, but what the heck, it keeps the reader on his/her toes. Even Serge gets a little confused at times. [I mean, what is 6 weeks among friends, right?] And of course, Coleman is confused most of the time.
Are there characters worth revisiting? I can't believe that Story has been written out. She represents Serge's alter-ego in many respects. Not so sure about Harold, tho. And looking back over the previous decade of books, I would sure like to have another visit with our legislators. And maybe even a governor. Then again, it's hard to find a Flori-duh equivalent of a mooseburger. And a visit to Dodgertown is just not enough for us baseball fans. Hey, Tim, remember that Babe Ruth played ball here. And Steinbrenner lives here. Oh. And one more thing. Early on, Serge tackled the media, but I think another visit is in order. Think Bubba the Love Sponge.
Anyway, enough! Go out and buy the book! You may recognize an acquaintence, a neighbor, or even yourself. Hey, and if you're not in this book, maybe you'll make it in the next one! Five stars? You bet!
- Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2014So I'm into my seventh Tim Dorsey Serge Storms book. I can't stop. It's like eating popcorn: you just want more and more (OK, so I just ordered three more...). Go on; admit it. We're all enamored of Serge. He actually does the things we so often just fantasize
about. I think Serge is our surrogate avenger. We're living vicariously through Serge, and, if you're honest, you're enjoying his antics which bring a certain kind of "justice" to those offenders. People who take up handicapped spaces "I'll only be a minute,"
surly clerks, cashiers, bank tellers - oops, associates (note that word contains "ass"), tailgaters, supermarket shoppers who
use carts to block the aisles. You know who they are. The list goes on forever. And, if we could get away with it, we'd do
psychological and/bodily injury to these people. Years ago, some lout kept blocking my driveway, so he could load up his pick
up with his tools and supplies. You know, you start out civilly "Can you please move your truck and not block my driveway as I, too, have to get to work." It never happens. One day I super-glued a poster I made, repeating same request, to his windshield. THAT worked!! Who knows? Maybe I'm a "Serge Wannabe" or "Serge-in-training," or just "Serge 101." Those
who post negative reviews maybe live in that eden, that paradise, where they never experience the callousness, indifference,
or just plain obnoxiousness of those who consider themselves enlightened and privileged. Go Serge! (Not so sure about
Coleman, though. I think if they ever cast a Dorsey movie, they should consider "Chumley" from Pawn Stars as Coleman.)
- Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2019The Serge saga continues. The quirky habits of Serge Storms and his trusty pal Coleman is just plain side splitting fun! Always great to have a comedic break from drama and suspense and sit back relax and have a good time with a humorous read. Never get tired of these guys. L.M.A.O.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2021serge finds another novel means of dispatching bad guy.
Top reviews from other countries
- Brian TeeneyReviewed in Canada on April 5, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars 5 stars
Man, this author is funny and smart
- A.R.UK.Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 10, 2014
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Bought as a gift.
- JackBlackReviewed in Germany on November 25, 2013
5.0 out of 5 stars Serge A. Storms rocks!
Makes you wann's Jump right into your own Car and Head Down to all Those cool Places and Bars!
When is the Travel Guide being Published
- Davy JReviewed in Canada on December 16, 2015
5.0 out of 5 stars Warped humor. The bad guy is really bad the good guy is really bad
Another darkly humorous trip through Florida with Serge the lovable looney
- J. BroughtonReviewed in the United Kingdom on June 2, 2014
4.0 out of 5 stars Serge and Colman Great as always
If you have never read Tim Dorsey - Where have you been!!!
Great story the darkest of dark humour and funny as they come.
The only reason this didn't get five stars is the poor quality of the book itself, the paper is thin and cheap and the binding is really flimsy - Come on Harper Collins - get your act together, I like to read a book more than once...