"The Loving Push" is a collaboration between Debra Moore and Temple Grandin that provides some advice for teaching teens and youth with Autism. Because Autism is one of my son's diagnosis, and I found one of Ms. Grandin's other books very enlightening, I purchased this. For me, after previewing the "look inside" function, there was a question in my mind about how much of this book could be applicable to my son's situation, as it seems by and large to be geared towards those with Asperger's, which is a higher functioning form of Autism than my son has. Because he also has Sotos Syndrome, and a duplication in his 5th chromosome, our situation doesn't really fit neatly into anybody's camp, so often I feel like when I read things, I have to pick out the parts that I feel can be useful in application to my son's therapy regime regardless, so I decided to take a chance on this one anyways. So this is a review is aimed at any parent who has a child who would be considered lower functioning.
Without a doubt, I agree with the general premise of this book, and I think it can be generalized to kiddos with lower functioning Autism. When my son's sensory problems first emerged, they were so severe, his Occupational Therapist at the time expressed doubt that he would ever be able to tolerate the school environment. My little man, for example, puked when things touched his skin he didn't like, puked when people got to close to him, puked if he didn't like the smells...there was a time when I couldn't go anywhere in public without getting puked on, peed on, or pooped on. He's been in therapy for 2.5 years now, and I've worked tirelessly with him, gently pushing him forward by pushing him just to the threshold of a reaction on something and then pulling back, and gradually moving that line forward once his tolerance improved. Kind of basically like the parable of boiling a frog. Push them into the hot water, they will freak out and jump out. Slowly crank up the heat, and they adjust. Not that my son is a frog, or that I'm boiling him, but he was able to enter into a developmental preschool program this past year and hasn't puked on anybody so much as once. Now that doesn't mean he's cooperating with them, or that all of his other sensory challenges aren't needing to be worked with, because all of those things are. But I know that if we hadn't been gently pushing him forward, my son wouldn't have made the progress he has.
I think also that in general, as a parent of a child with significant disability, speaking to parents who also may have a child with significant disability, I would also add that you shouldn't be afraid to provide some gentle encouragement to the therapy members involved. Everybody has boxes they want to put my son in, I have noticed. Many people we work with have come to conclusions about the limitations they think my son will have. And some of them may end up being right, but what I know for sure is that the moment you stop trying, you've set your own limit and that's all you're going to get. So we're shooting for all of the skills we can, and we'll be grateful for whatever we can help him to acquire, because some day he will have to navigate this world without our help. And nobody, including me at my most optimistic, thinks that he will be able to be fully independent. But if all of this gentle pushing gets him to the assisted living level as opposed to the total care level, it will have been worth it. And literally, I walk around like a 24/7 therapy session with this kiddo. I used to have hobbies, right?
Which brings me to the final point from this book I think can be generalized to a kiddo who is lower functioning. As parents and caregivers, you must take care of yourselves. I don't know anybody personally with a child who's struggles are as profound as mine... I know they are out there, but I don't know nor am I in contact with a single one. That can be very isolating, on top of the stresses of managing the difficulties that have come from each of his medical conditions. Many of my hobbies I may have had to give up, but taking time for myself somewhere whenever possible helps keep my head recharged and in this game. Most days that looks like my workout time, or a long walk with him in the stroller. But what they say in there is correct, if you want to help someone, you have to first make sure you're standing in a safe place yourself.
In general, many parents with a kiddo with significant challenges may read the specific examples in this book and think "I only wish those were the problems I was dealing with." That is not to minimize the difficulties that these families detailed in the book have gone through, but it is a very different level of functioning and challenges, and that may make this book feel less applicable to families with lower functioning kiddos, if for example, you're dealing with hours a day of a child with self-injurious behavior, or who is non-verbal, or who has significant motor challenges, or who once you got them over their sensory issues for squishy stuff thinks painting with their poopy diapers is awesome and had become obsessed with it for a period of time. But I still think the main take away points are pertinent and useful, and while not always easy to apply, can be generalized to children with different struggles.
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Reviews with images
I understand the information but it is my body-aware self that resonates with the help that this book offers anyone looking for
As a therapist, a mother and a person, I appreciate how Temple Grandin has helped the world understand the sensitivity spectrum. I am a licensed professional counselor and a board-certified dance therapist. With my counselor hat on, I understand the information but it is my body-aware self that resonates with the help that this book offers anyone looking for guidance toward better nervous system regulation.-author Naked Online: A DoZen Ways to Grow from Internet Dating
Top reviews from other countries
Emma
A must read for anyone who knows an autistic person
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 21, 2022Michelle Miscampbell
Fantastic book and a must read for any parent of a child with autism!
Reviewed in Canada on May 12, 2020Johanne Provencher
Très bon livre. Ce livre donne de l'espoir aux ...
Reviewed in Canada on January 12, 2018HEATHER COOPER
Strategy for parents children and teens to live successful lives in our society today
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 11, 2017
