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Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children Paperback – May 15, 2012

by Rachel Pepper (Editor)
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 105 ratings
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“Useful lessons about acceptance and unconditional love that will resonate with many parents, gay or straight."—Washington Blade

Here is the first book to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child's gender transition. It offers a view that will educate everyone about the trans experience. It offers emotional support to family and friends close to someone experience transition and educations to those who may not fully understand what the “T” in LGBTQ means.

What do mothers really think of their transgender and gender variant children? Sharing stories of love, struggle, and acceptance, this collection of mother's voices, representing a diversity of backgrounds and sexual orientations, affirms the experience of those who have raised and are currently raising transgender and gender variant children between the ages of 5-50. There are stories here of birth mothers and adoptive mothers, single mothers and married mothers, stepmothers and grandmothers, and heterosexual mothers and lesbian mothers. They have children of all ages, ranging fro six to sixty. Their children are gender nonconforming, gender variant, gender queer, transgender, and “pink boys.” Many mothers are active in PFLAG groups and other community based support groups. Often "transitioning" socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.

Edited by Rachel Pepper, a gender specialist and co-author of the acclaimed book The Transgender Child, Transitions of the Heart includes both a glossary of terms as well as a resource guide. It will prove an invaluable resource for parents coming to terms with a child's gender variance or transition.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    219 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Cleis Press
  4. Publication date
    May 15, 2012
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.56 x 8 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1573447889
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1573447881
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Useful lessons about acceptance and unconditional love that will resonate with many parents, gay or straight. -- Washington Blade

From the Back Cover

Transition Mamas

Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children to tell their own stories. Often "transitioning" socially and emotionally alongside their children, parents have their own parallel process to work through, and few resources to depend on. Editor Rachel Pepper has gathered voices of women from all walks of life, with children ranging in age from six to sixty, to share their experiences. These mothers have learned how to advocate for their children and themselves. By speaking out here, they are blazing a brave trail for others to follow.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Cleis Press (May 15, 2012)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 219 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1573447889
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1573447881
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.1 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.56 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 105 ratings

About the author

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Rachel Pepper

Rachel Pepper

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Rachel Pepper is a licensed therapist who has published four books. Her latest book is the IPPY award winning anthology Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children, published by Cleis in May, 2012. This collection by more than 30 mothers of diverse backgrounds and ages provides a window into the transition mothers go though along with their children. Rachel is also the co-author of the groundbreaking Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals, written with Stephanie Brill. The Transgender Child has garnered rave reviews from readers all over the world as an affirming book for families who want to better understand their gender diverse or transgender child. It has also been translated into German. She can be directly contacted at RLPepper@Hotmail.com. Please also see her website at www.rachel-pepper.com.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
105 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Dogonets
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book
Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2013
Verified Purchase
I am a transgender man. I'm 42 years old and I have a very loving mother who just doesn't understand why I have 'chosen' this path. She doesn't recognize me for the man that I am, only as the daughter that she was given. I purchased this book to give to her for either Mother's Day or her birthday (they are within a week of each other), but decided I had better read it before I gave it to her. When it arrived in my mailbox, I couldn't wait to open it, and I couldn't wait to read it, although I swore I would wait until after I had finished final papers for my grad school classes, it didn't happen. I read it in 3 sessions because it was so good I didn't want to put it down. It gave me hope that perhaps my mother can change and accept me for who I am by reading how other mother's have done that very same thing. I hope that it will open her heart and mind to how her actions hurt me, even though I continue to be present in her life regardless of her disapproval and I have chosen to give her as much time as she needs to learn to accept it. This is my gentle nudge that maybe she needs to be moving in that direction, if only a little. If nothing else, perhaps it will open some lines of discussion and communication. Mom's are hard.
When I chose to transition I did so knowing that I was risking losing everyone and everything in my life. I was willing to do so because I had finally realized that to live my life on someone else's terms was impossible and to continue the same path would be to accept that I would likely forfeit my life in the coming months. It was literally a life or death decision. While I am thankful that my parents have chosen to love me through this choice, some days it is difficult to know that it is only because I share their DNA that they even associate with me. And it is hard to know that, at least for now, every meeting is a reiteration of who they see me as and not a recognition of who I am. In some ways it would almost be easier to know that I was just written off, at least then there would be no expectations to live up to. Not that I want them out of my life, because I don't.
To all the mother's who contributed to this beautiful book, thank you for sharing your story and your love and acceptance for your child. May you be an inspiration to all Mother's everywhere, including mine.
Aaron
64 people found this helpful
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1mom3kids
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for moms of gender non-conforming kids
Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2012
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As a mom of a gender non-conforming child, I've read a lot of clinical/factual information. These are truly stories from the heart. My favorites included a Southern Baptist mom who did all the wrong things when she learned her child was gender non-conforming. But she owned it, and she shared it, so that other moms can learn from her mistakes. I also liked the stories that were similar to mine -- because there aren't many (or at least I haven't heard them). It made me feel less alone and more confident. The kids' stories are consistent -- my boy liked girl's things and vice versa -- but it's the moms' perspectives that separate this book from the rest. And although the book features a wide variety of moms -- gay, straight, married, single, religious, not religious, etc. -- the common thread is love for our children. Fabulous.
30 people found this helpful
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Larry
4.0 out of 5 stars Educational for this perplexing subject
Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2022
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Thank the author for their painstaking research and personal stories on this topic. This book is a life saver.
One person found this helpful
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Emily
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book for all parents
Reviewed in the United States on March 13, 2016
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A wonderful and inspiring book for parents of transgender children. Moms like these will probably do more to help society accept and support transgender children than all of the efforts combined. They will fight for their children and share their stories and experiences with family, friends, colleagues who would most likely not know much more than soundbites about the issues TG kids face, e.g, ridicule, bullying, closed mindedness, etc., and their need to be loved and supported just like any other child. Good on you moms, your stories are a blessing.
3 people found this helpful
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Elizabeth H. Rowell
5.0 out of 5 stars A much needed and significant book
Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2012
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The very readable personal essays included in Transitions Of The Heart will be a tremendous help to Mothers who have transgender and gender variant children as well as others who want to know more about the transgender experience. The essay writers who are mothers of transgender children of all ages tell in their own words sometimes with sadness, excitement, and humor how they have learned in different ways to accept, support, and advocate for their much loved children. Their experiences touch your own heart as well as convey ideas on how to cope with all the relatives, educators, rude comments from others, religious issues, and bullying.
As a dedicated Transgender Ally I found this significant book difficult to put down and my personal copy is highlighted with penciled in notes and adorned with umpteen yellow stickies. It has been referred to often and already been shared with others. I hope that Rachel Pepper will soon do a similar much needed book about fathers followed by one about siblings of transgender and gender variant children.

Elizabeth Rowell
16 people found this helpful
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Bastet
3.0 out of 5 stars Just for parents of trans kids
Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2022
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I found little to connect with in this book that’s mainly about parents of trans children. My trans daughter is in her 30s and the issues I face are much different. I also found the writing inconsistent since each chapter was by a different author—some good, some bad.
One person found this helpful
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MamaBear
5.0 out of 5 stars I too am the mother of a Transwoman
Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2014
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I too am the mom of a Transwoman and relate to the range of emotions and journey we go through with our children as told by moms in this book. Our daughter is now 35 and it does our heart good to see her happy, joyful, and more balanced after so many years of her misunderstood unhappiness and depression. We are in awe of her courage and resilience and immensely grateful for the support and love of our family and friends. Sarah has been one of the furtunate ones as so many Trans adults are rejected by family and friends. Our hope is that increasing understanding and acceptance of Trans people will continue in the courts and in the hearts of the public.
20 people found this helpful
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sweetpea
4.0 out of 5 stars Good for father's too.
Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2015
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It was nice to read stories of other mothers with a transgender child. This would also be a good book for any father.
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Top reviews from other countries

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Angel
5.0 out of 5 stars Very moving
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 4, 2012
Verified Purchase
This is an excellent book with so many parents of trans children writing from the heart, it is a must for any parent of a trans child. You are not alone, and your child is not abnormal. Love them in the way they need to be loved; just like any other child, unconditionally, and they will grow into the person they need to be.

Byr Amazon, please PAY YOUR TAX!
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Jojo
5.0 out of 5 stars ein Haufen bewegender persönlicher Erfahrungen
Reviewed in Germany on September 14, 2012
Verified Purchase
Für jeden (insbesondere jede Mutter), der (die) ein Kind hat, das sich nicht den üblichen Geschlechtsstereotypen entsprechend verhält und sich mit den Themen gender/ Transidentität/ gendervariant etc. beschäftigt, ist das Buch einfach eine tolle Sammlung persönlicher Erfahrungen, in denen man sich mal wiederfindet, mal ganz anders gehandelt hätte.
Erfahrungen über junge Kinder ab 5 Jahren sind ebenso dabei wie von 'Kindern', die selbst schon ca. 60 sind.
FzM, MzF und noch unklare Entwicklungen werden beschrieben.
Lesenswert!!
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Miss V
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 12, 2016
Verified Purchase
Interesting.
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