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If a Tree Falls: A Family's Quest to Hear and Be Heard Paperback – May 1, 2010

by Jennifer Rosner (Author)
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 126 ratings
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A revealing memoir of a family and a “wrenching journey into deafness from the standpoint of a mother, a wife, a daughter, a philosopher, and a Jew” (Ilan Stavans, author of On Borrowed Words: A Memoir of Language).

When her daughters were born deaf, Jennifer Rosner was stunned. Then she discovered a hidden history of deafness in her family, going back generations to the Jewish enclaves of Eastern Europe. Traveling back in time in her mind, she imagined her silent relatives, who showed surprising creativity in dealing with a world that preferred to ignore them.

Here, in a “gentle meditation on sound and silence, love and family” Rosner shares her journey into the modern world of deafness, and the controversial decisions she and her husband made about hearing aids, cochlear implants and sign language (Publishers Weekly).

Punctuated by memories of being unheard, Rosner’s imaginative odyssey of dealing with her daughters’ deafness is at its heart a story of whether she—a mother with perfect hearing—can ever truly hear her children.

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  1. Print length
    256 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    The Feminist Press at CUNY
  4. Publication date
    May 1, 2010
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1558616624
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1558616622
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Rosner turns what could have been a depressing story into a gentle meditation on sound and silence, love and family. She writes with honesty and empathy about her daughter Sophia's diagnosis with deafness and the adjustments she and her husband had to make. She describes the birth of her second daughter, Juliet, a few years later (who received a similar diagnosis) and shares the programs and technology available to help the hearing impaired. "Bill and I were talkers. We were constantly debating, questioning, arguing, doubting, agreeing, wondering aloud. And we were hearers, in the hearing world. A soundless, wordless world was unimaginable to us." The author can't resist looking into the hows and whys of her situation and examines her family tree only to find relatives generations ago who had been deaf. She also works to reconcile her difficult relationship with her mother and asks frequent theoretical questions: "What are the elements essential for identity, for personhood, for perception and existence?" She fills the discussion with philosophy and grace.
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Review

"Rosner turns what could have been a depressing story into a gentle meditation on sound and silence, love and family. She writes with honesty and empathy... She fills the discussion with philosophy and grace." —Publishers Weekly

“Deep and moving truths fall out of this enchanting memoir, as deafness becomes a means of exploring the grave obstacles we all face in knowing what it is like to be another." —Rebecca Newberger Goldstein, author of 36 Arguments for the Existence of God: A Work of Fiction

"This beautiful book is about listening—really listening—to children, history, and one's own knowing heart. It's an exquisite memoir, crossed with poetry and the unmistakable shine of truth." —Catherine Newman, author of Waiting for Birdy

"With profound honesty and endearing humility, Rosner writes about the searing emotional challenges that parents can face, and about absorbing these lessons and moving into deeper wisdom. A beautiful, deeply felt exploration of love and hard choices." —Josh Swiller, author of The Unheard: A Memoir of Deafness and Africa

“This wrenching journey into deafness from the standpoint of a mother, a wife, a daughter, a philosopher, and a Jew explores the meaning of sound in a soundless world. If a Tree Falls shows the extent to which what we hear comes not only from our contemporaries but from the people who came before us and those who will succeed us.” —Ilan Stavans, author of On Borrowed Words: A Memoir of Language

"Jennifer Rosner's If a Tree Falls is the kind of memoir that reminds the reader how we are all part of the same long line: complicated selves finding our way in a world that challenges us to discover our deeper resilience and untold strengths." —Vicki Forman, author of This Lovely Life: A Memoir of Premature Motherhood

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ The Feminist Press at CUNY (May 1, 2010)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1558616624
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1558616622
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 126 ratings

About the authors

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  1. Jennifer Amy Rose

    Jennifer Amy Rose

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  2. Jennifer Rosner

    Jennifer Rosner

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    Jennifer Rosner is the author of THE YELLOW BIRD SINGS, called "exquisite, heart-rending... an absolutely beautiful and necessary novel" by The New York Times Book Review and a Finalist for the 2020 National Jewish Book Award. Her previously published books include the memoir, IF A TREE FALLS: A Family's Quest to Hear and Be Heard, and the picture book, THE MITTEN STRING, a Sydney Taylor Book Award Notable. In addition to writing, Jennifer teaches philosophy. She received her BA from Columbia University and her Ph.D. from Stanford University, and lives in western MA with her family. Her newest novel is ONCE WE WERE HOME, forthcoming from Flatiron Books.

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Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
126 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Liesel B
5.0 out of 5 stars More than a memoir! A philosophical book exploring what it means to be heard infused with a rich ancestorial detective story.
Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2011
Verified Purchase
I have three daughters, two of whom are deaf due to Connexin 26. I expected this book to be only about her feelings, struggles and decisions she had to make, which I had also made.

Instead, I found that this book used it as a thread weaving together a beautiful story. The theme of being heard or unheard was a theme that resonates with all of us and I enjoyed the thoughtful meditative narrative on that theme. What really made the book for me was her imagined prose of how it was for her deaf Jewish ancestors in an Eastern European shtetl.

It was striking to me that these parents had the resources, the mobility, higher education and many things most parents do not have when they are presented with a baby with hearing loss. I work with many families who do not have these advantages and it makes all the more difficult.

I would like to have heard more about was how her children felt, how they developed and what it meant to them.

She skillfully wrote about the emotional turmoil in real terms without becoming overly sentimental.

I highly recommend this book to anyone, not only people with an interest in deafness. This would be an amazing book club selection!
4 people found this helpful
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Cynthia
5.0 out of 5 stars inspiring, compelling, well-written story
Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2011
Verified Purchase
I have never before posted a review, but I am doing so for If a Tree Falls, because I love the book. A dozen of my friends also read it, and they all agreed: this is a compelling story that every woman can relate to as a daughter and/or mother. Jennifer's struggles to make the right decisions for her daughters, keeping in mind their medical, intellectual and emotional needs, resonated with me. Her frankness in telling her poignant, thought-provoking story drew me in right from the start.

Although everyone is bound to enjoy Jennifer's three storylines, her book will appeal particularly to parents who have had to come to terms with a child's medical problem, deliberate the best course of treatment and incorporate medical appointments and therapies into daily life. Rosner inspires parents by sharing how she has done all that for her own daughters, all the while striving to maintain a sense of normalcy for them and infuse their lives with joy.
4 people found this helpful
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Skye Isaac
4.0 out of 5 stars Parental decisions and outcomes for deaf children.
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2015
Verified Purchase
The subject of 'A Family's Quest to Hear and be Heard,' is a central issue for every family.
Jennifer Rosner's personal story of decisions and outcomes around deafness provoked my
mindfulness about the major decisions I, and all parents make on behalf of their children.
For these things alone I like this book and there are moments of beautiful writing.
Personally I am also interested in deep spiritual, soulful enquiry.
This is more of a family friendly book with a very wonderful relationship between the parents.
2 people found this helpful
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Shan
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book
Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2024
Verified Purchase
The book was truly wonderful. It brought up a variety of emotions for me. I was able to feel Jennifer's pain, the pain of her mother, and that of her ancestors. I am elated to know that her girls are thriving. Children with special needs are a blessing from God and should not be seen as less than. This story has taught me new strategies for working with my own children and even children within the classroom setting.
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Patrick Gould
5.0 out of 5 stars A compelling memoir written with tenderness and love
Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2021
Verified Purchase
This review is written by Patricia Black-Gould
In Jennifer Rosner’s compelling memoir, If a Tree Falls, she examines deafness and hearing loss and its impact within her family system. Interestingly, the author explores deafness from three perspectives and weaves these storylines together beautifully throughout the book.
In one storyline, she traces her family history of deafness to its Eastern European roots. She imagines their lives and creates a fictional account of how they navigated their world when deafness was misunderstood, and deaf individuals were treated poorly. Another storyline includes her mother’s hearing loss and the impact it had on their relationship.
The third storyline begins with the discovery that both her daughters have a genetic hearing loss. As a psychologist who worked with the Culturally Deaf community, I appreciate how the author opens her heart to readers as she identifies the challenges she and her husband face as they explore the communication methods that might be most effective for each of them. These include sign language, oral approaches, total communication, cochlear implants, hearing aids, or a mixture. Her research leads her to identify the “camps” of deafness. How, in the hearing world, deafness is perceived as a disability, whereas in the Culturally Deaf world, it is recognized as an identity. The author and her husband, after carefully exploring the options, decide what is best for their daughters and where they best fit in as a family.
Readers meet the little girls in the memoir and there is one story in particular that stands out. When little Sophia noticed a picture in the newspaper of a grieving firefighter kneeling at a 9/11 memorial site, she found a bandaid and placed it on the picture of the firefighter.
Sophia’s compassion touched my heart. And it reflects the tenderness and love both parents have for their children, despite all the hardship. To me, the caring for their family is what makes the author and her husband’s story a source of inspiration to other parents who face deafness and hearing loss in their children.
2 people found this helpful
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