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Name: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands (A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing Publishing): Handler, Chelsea: 9781455549214: Amazon.com: Books
Price: 8 USD
Availability: InStock
Rating: 4.3 (3213 reviews)

Chelsea Handler

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My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands (A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing Publishing) Mass Market Paperback – November 19, 2013

by Chelsea Handler (Author)

4.3 3,213 ratings

Part of: A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing Publishing (3 books)

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In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty.

Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Part of series

A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing Publishing
Print length

256 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Grand Central Publishing
Publication date

November 19, 2013
Dimensions

4.25 x 0.75 x 6.75 inches
ISBN-10

1455549215
ISBN-13

978-1455549214
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Born in Livingston, New Jersey, to a Jewish father and a Mormon mother, Chelsea Handler is the youngest of six children. She is the star and host of E!'s Chelsea Lately.

www.eonline.com/chelsealately
www.myspace.com/chelseahandler

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Grand Central Publishing; Reprint edition (November 19, 2013)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Mass Market Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1455549215
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1455549214
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 4.5 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.25 x 0.75 x 6.75 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #231,189 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #557 in Humor Essays (Books)
- #2,151 in Actor & Entertainer Biographies
- #2,154 in Fiction Satire

Customer Reviews:
4.3 3,213 ratings

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Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler is an accomplished stand-up comic and actress, as well as the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. She is the star of her own late-night show on E!, Chelsea Lately; was one of the stars of Girls Behaving Badly; has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Late Night with David Letterman; and has starred in her own half-hour Comedy Central special. Chelsea makes regular appearances in comedy clubs across America and lives in Los Angeles.

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4.3 out of 5

3,213 global ratings

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Wallito

Is chelsea handler telling the truth or do we care?

Reviewed in the United States on January 31, 2024

Verified Purchase

When this book came out 20 years ago, I was so mad because I had wanted to write a similar book... That's part of why I waited 20 years to read it. Also I was afraid of getting stoned to death in the town square for admitting to the one night stand.

For some reason it didn't occur to me that in spite of the very controversial subject matter, you could make the audience love you instead of hate you... now I know how she does it- she's funny.

Good thing Chelsea took the lead on this one. There are several times in the book when you wonder if she is lying or telling the truth.. but you come to the profound awareness that it doesn't matter because she is super funny. Thanks Chelsea this is my type of feminism. Also enjoyed the ending. I won't spoil it for anyone who is going to wait another 20 years to gaze into this sparkling gem. ✨️

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Kasia S.

Perfect book for reading in bed

Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2009

Verified Purchase

Candid, shocking, hilarious, crass, sometimes gross, sarcastic and somehow still charming, that's Chelsea for you. Since I've been watching her late night show on E! for over a hear and a half now I wasn't as stunned as an average reader might be but the book was still a handful, easy to read but with many "holy moly" moments through in, some parts had me laughing so loud that I thought something would burst in my body, her comedic spirit is her own, she's not pretending to be funny, it's simply part of her personality and it works.

Being one of many siblings has made Chelsea a natural goofball around people, considering she seems to be the most mischievous and outgoing and perhaps the funniest. From an early age she hasn't shied away from figuring out things that parents want to keep hidden for as long as possible, resulting in a hunger that made her life look like one giant party. It was funny reading this and thinking that now I'm the age Chelsea was when the book was ending, and comparing of course how insanely different we are, I still had a blast reading about her conquests, one night stands ( half of them were more than one night, it made me laugh) and in between bizzaro incidents that made me feel better about my own past, I guess young men are mostly frogs and she proves it well in this hilarious memoir of sorts. Now no offence to the normal men out there, I believe you're hiding in between the wolves but they weren't so common in this bedside memoir.

This was a fun and fast read, something one can get through in a day or two, it might induce cravings for cocktails as one reads it, and I know I wanted one during each chapter. Chelsea is honest and funny, her personality really shines through even if it's bit over the top sometimes but ultimately she proves that she's a good friend to those close to her and I like that about her, she's not empty, she cares and she has a good heart.

I watch her show with my bf every night and it rarely fails to make us laugh, sometimes it gets boring, other times its really out there, but she says whatever she thinks of celebs and calls them out when they are lame and I love that. She brings some much needed humility to the Hollywood scene but always with some laughs.

- Kasia S.

4 people found this helpful

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FAR

So funny!

Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2024

Verified Purchase

This book made me laugh out loud during each chapter. I don’t know how she does it but every single chapter will have you laughing

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Kurt Joseph Pankau

Brief, Meaningless Fun

Reviewed in the United States on February 15, 2012

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Without question, this book is fluff. I feel guilty rating it as highly as I did, but the book is such well-executed fluff that it's difficult to put down. Written as a series of self-contained episodes, Handler chronicles the party-girl days from her late teens to her late twenties and the increasingly bizarre and outlandish situations she finds herself in while pursuing non-committal sex. Popcorn-sized anecdotes and wickedly funny scenarios/dialogue/editorializing keep the momentum up, and she manages to end on a bit of closure--even if the last few sentences culminate in an obvious and not-particularly-funny joke.

The book regards sex conversationally--it's bawdy without being explicit. There's some mild feminism at work (Handler regards her proclivities as behaving like a man rather than being a "slut"), but the discussion of sex isn't about titillation. Rather, it's just another platform for humor, and humor is the book's biggest asset. Handler's stand-up background is on display, and she's able to construct stories for great comic effect, with amusing asides that loop back into the narrative only to be called back later. Once or twice her digressions spin mildly out of control and there is a lull somewhere in the middle third where the style of joke-telling starts to grow stale and the anecdotes haven't quite escalated enough to compensate. But that lull is pretty brief, as her stories are soon taken over by colorful characters and bad decisions.

This is a memoir, so the details are varying degrees of highly-suspect, but that rarely takes you out of the story, and Handler is by her own admission a pathological liar. If there's a point to all this mess, I never found it, but that doesn't seem to matter. My Horizontal Life is never self-important, never pretentious, and never seems to develop any literary aspirations whatsoever. The book is itself a one-night stand: brief, meaningless fun.

3 people found this helpful

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Menomalio Nespi

Bad decisions make good stories

Reviewed in Italy on August 18, 2020

Verified Purchase

..and this book has many of them, that you cannot but love Chelsea . I adore her self-confidence, and corrosive irony. The episode I enjoyed the most is about a short and tragic ship Cruise, where she touches the bottom but still remains a brilliant sex/life warrior.

One person found this helpful

Tara

Muy ella

Reviewed in Spain on October 6, 2019

Verified Purchase

Una risa de libro. Así, de principio a fin. Todo MUY Chelsea.

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Leah-S

Chelsea Handler, You Are Too Funny.

Reviewed in Canada on June 6, 2013

Verified Purchase

I first heard about Chelsea Handler when I started watching “Chelsea Lately” when it first aired, I immediately fell in love with her sense of humor & delivery, she’s hilarious!

The Book: It is truly laugh-out-loud funny, I was reading it at an office job on my lunch breaks & I would be laughing so hard in the break room, this girl leaves nothing to the imagination & is a true comic.

If you haven’t watched her show, watch it, & if you haven’t read her books, read them! This & “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.” Are by far my favorites, unfortunately, her most recent ones, not so much.

2 people found this helpful

Anne H

hilarious

Reviewed in France on January 12, 2014

Verified Purchase

I loved this book. It made me laugh out loud many times.

I would definitely recommend it. I have read multiple books by female comics in the last year and I think this and mindy kaling's book are definitely the funniest.

Tanya

Too dam funny

Reviewed in Australia on February 21, 2016

Verified Purchase

Brilliantly done funny. Be warned you may laugh so hard you cry.

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