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Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother Paperback – October 15, 2013

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 154 ratings

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Have you recently suffered a miscarriage, delivered a baby stillborn, lost an infant, or an older child? This book is the comfort and encouragement that you need to get you through the darkest of days. Mothers who have actually experienced these horrible events share their best tips and encouragement and resources to help mothers who are trying to pick themselves up after the death of a child, loss of an infant, or miscarriage. You will hear directly from them - how they survived, what helped, what didn't help, the dumb things people said, how they grieved with their other children, and more.

This book will be the virtual hug you need from other mothers who know your pain and understand that it's not something you can just move on, or "get over" in a few weeks, months, and sometimes years.

This book came about when Alexa Bigwarfe wanted to help her friend who delivered her beautiful daughter stillborn. She knew from her own pain that life could be beautiful again, but how can you give a mother that hope who is in the darkest time of her life? In May of 2011, Alexa and Jeff Bigwarfe were surprised to learn they were pregnant with identical twins. By the time the shock wore off from that news, they learned the babies were suffering from a fatal disease. Over the course of 10 weeks, Alexa was hospitalized numerous times. Once the babies were born (9.5 weeks early), baby Kathryn lived 2 days before passing away in the NICU.

Fast forward 18 months. The surviving twin was doing well. A happy, well-adjusted 18-month-old. Alexa learned her friend delivered her baby Catherine at 37 weeks, stillborn. This event set Alexa in motion to put together this beautiful book of hope, love, and support for other parents suffering pregnancy and infant loss, or even the death of an older child. She contacted other writers known in the grief and loss community, and invited them to participate.

The book includes all of their stories of loss, love, pain, grieving, support, forgiveness, and survival. It also includes a special interview with Sean Hanish, director of the incredible movie
Return to Zero.

If you or someone you know has experienced the loss of a pregnancy, infant, or young child, you need this book to help heal.

Contributions by: Alexa Bigwarfe, Amy Hillis, Anna Whiston Donaldson, AnnMarie Gubenko, Christina Russo-Sporer, Dana Weinstein, Heather O'Brien Webb, Jennie Goutet, Jessica Watson , Kathy Glow, Kathy Radigan, Katia Bishops, Kelly DeBie, Kelly Powell, Kristi Bothur, Lizzi Rogers, Marcia Kester Doyle, Rachel Raper, Regina Petsch, Sandi Haustein, Sarah Hackett, Sarah Rudell Beach, Sheila Quirke, Starr Bryson, Stephanie Sprenger, Suzanne M. Tucker, Tova Gold, Wendy R. Smith. Includes special contributions from Sherokee Ilse, Dr. Jessica Zucker, Sean Hanish (Director/Producer of “Return to Zero”) Will Chippich, Eric Bothur, and David Webb.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Sunshine After the Storm is an amazing answer to aide in the struggle to survive. With heartfelt stories on many of the various topics and issues mothers face, you will feel surrounded by others who 'get it.' ~Sherokee Ilse, author of Empty Arms. "A compelling read from start to finish, this supportive guide to navigating pregnancy and infant loss will arm you with life-changing tools that will help you feel part of a dynamic community. The complexities of pregnancy and infant loss are explored by survivors themselves rendering this must-read book a first hand personal narrative that invites people to feel less alone in the aftermath of such devastating experiences. Grief knows no timeline and this thoughtful book does an exceptional job of explicating ways that society could more sensitively embody this concept by normalizing the spectrum of mourning. Profound losses create seismic changes in self-image, relationships, and overall identity. Many women blame themselves for their reproductive hardships and harbor monumental shame as a result. Contributors delve into crevices of their minds and hearts and courageously express the complexities of their processes- journeys that should be shared and not silenced, providing enlivening inspiration and raw accounts of how life perspectives are invariably altered in the wake of loss. This accessible guide provides valuable tips and resources for grieving families which serve as a grounding way to acknowledge the pain, ease the grief, and explore pockets of hope.

A vital resource for anyone who has experienced these kinds of losses and those who love them."
- Jessica Zucker, Ph.D.
Clinical psychologist and writer specializing in women's reproductive health

From the Back Cover

A compelling read from start to finish, this supportive guide to navigating pregnancy and infant loss will arm you with life-changing tools that will help you feel part of a dynamic community. The complexities of pregnancy and infant loss are explored by survivors themselves rendering this must-read book a first hand personal narrative that invites people to feel less alone in the aftermath of such devastating experiences. Grief knows no timeline and this thoughtful book does an exceptional job of explicating ways that society could more sensitively embody this concept by normalizing the spectrum of mourning. Profound losses create seismic changes in self-image, relationships, and overall identity. Many women blame themselves for their reproductive hardships and harbor monumental shame as a result. Contributors delve into crevices of their minds and hearts and courageously express the complexities of their processes- journeys that should be shared and not silenced, providing enlivening inspiration and raw accounts of how life perspectives are invariably altered in the wake of loss. This accessible guide provides valuable tips and resources for grieving families which serve as a grounding way to acknowledge the pain, ease the grief, and explore pockets of hope. A vital resource for anyone who has experienced these kinds of losses and those who love them. - Jessica Zucker, Ph.D.Clinical psychologist and writer specializing in women's reproductive health

"There is no other book out there like this for grieving mothers. Not only do these mothers share their stories, but they also provide hope, encouragement, and ideas to help other mothers who are struggling through their pain." ~Robin Bear, October15th.com

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Kat Biggie Press (October 15, 2013)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 344 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0989934713
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0989934718
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.78 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 154 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
154 global ratings
Pain.
5 Stars
Pain.
Have not read this book but came across it. I lost a 5 year old niece who was like my own I have been told. It was in 1988. In December. An aneurysm. Nothing in our lives was ever the same. I tear as I type as the pain remains as to all that was lost. It does not feel like 29 years in any way. My parents and sisters are no longer here and it gives me some hope I will be with them all some day. I just know the missing is everyday. Not a day goes by. I read massive amounts of grief books. I was given Paxil 6 years later. I went off about 7 years ago. Guess what. The pain for her remained the same. I suppose it muted other things and allowed more peace. But the grief for her I learned is just a part of who I am. So many do not understand. I suppose you only know when you actually are in the club. Of losing your child when they are still children.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2023
I bought this book to read so I would know better how to help a family member who has just lost a child. There is a wealth of information in from women who have lived through this terrible experience.
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2022
This was the first book I read after I lost my daughter. This book was so helpful and healing! This book has a story of every parents so you can make a connection. There are many many resources in the back of the book to help with your grief and where to go for support! This book has been an absolute blessing and I highly recommend it to anyone whole has lost a pregnancy, baby or child in any way. You can feel the love of other grieving mothers stitched into the pages of this book.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2013
Since I haven't read the whole book I can't say that it's awesome.... Yet. But, if the first 5 pages are any indication of the healing in it's entirety, it's a must-read for everyone! Really, everyone, you say, I've not lost a child, you say, not me, you say, I'm fine, you say. Let me try to illustrate why everyone should read this book.

Who should read it? Anyone who has experienced ANY loss- this goes far beyond infant & child loss. Anyone who has lost a dream of what-could-have-been, what-should-be or what-might-be. Anyone who even thinks they've had a loss; loss especially in the form of miscarriage is not always "confirmable" but the body remembers & knows- trust that, if you feel you lost something/someone, you did. Anyone who might experience loss. Anyone who has, is, or will support someone who experiences loss should read it. I wish I had this tool many times. Anyone who wants to feel human emotion profoundly should read this book. Anyone who is going to be someone else's loss someday ie. everyone dies. No matter your life & death beliefs, your religion, etc. read it. See, everyone.

After you read it, comment on my Facebook page: Natural Midwestern Blessings. Let's start a normal-life-stage-called loss, discussion. Let's lift each other up and make the world a better place one loss at a time. Just as birth/beginnings are a beautiful raw empowering experience, death/losses can be the same.

We need to talk about loss.
Love, a loss journeyer
9 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 14, 2013
Sunshine After the Storm is a beautifully written collection of stories that tugged at my heartstrings and made me cry in ways I don't think I ever have. Yet at the same time, it allowed me to feel connected and not so alone. I suffered a miscarriage several years ago. We were devastated. My single biggest regret is that we did not give our unborn child a name. Sunshine After the Storm not only contains real stories from those who have suffered similar and even more devastating losses, but it also includes Survival Tips and coping strategies. I've learned that it is never too late. It's never too late to grieve. It's never too late to let yourself feel new emotions. And, for me, it's never too late to name the baby who I know in my heart was a boy. I'm thankful to know several of the authors in the book, including the lead editor and project manager, Alexa. They are women who give me daily inspiration and make me feel like there is sunshine after the storm.
14 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2013
Sunshine After the Storm was picked off of my list, or should I say unexpectedly added to my reading to review list, because of the loss I have just recently went through. I've given birth to a stillborn and I've been reading about this subject matter since. I saw this book while surfing through Amazon looking for another grief book.

This book is filled with personal stories of loss with a touch of inspiration. Although I find that most of the subject matter is on miscarriages or multiple losses, I think this could benefit someone who has been there. The few stories on Stillbirth hit home for me and the inspiration that was given from the stories, are a blessing. I can't thank the women enough for reaching out to others and giving them hope.

Although at times this book was hard to read because of the editing, I would recommend it to any and all grieving parents. Not just the mothers. Fathers too. If a father were to read this, he could see some bits of what the mother of the baby is going through. I'd also say this is a good read for those who want to understand what a grieving parent is going through, even if the loss happened years ago.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 17, 2013
The copy reviewed is from the Kindle version, a format that might or might not be as effective for some readers. There is a trade off for immediate access.

I have a bookshelf of materials for youth and teen grieving, a shelf that grew out of a child's death at a baseball game (CLARIFICATION: He was my son's teammate). As a part of my grief reaction and process, I created an annotated bibliography that could help coaches and smaller town librarians to have resources for kids facing loss.

My parent grief resources are not as well developed. The first person narratives are a key part of building up the literature. For those who have not experienced the grief of losing a child, the book provides an insight into the world that you beg God will never involve your family. For those in the midst of loss at whatever stage, the book provides comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

The book is recommended for family and friends of the grieving (one copy for you, one copy as a gift), for clergy, counselors and for public libraries of all sizes. College and university libraries supporting psychology programs should consider the title as a course reserve.

A title for fathers as a companion volume is "Grieving Dads: To The Brink and Back"
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2022
I wish I didn't need this book, but I am glad I found it. The stories are all different points of views, but all connected. This book has made me feel not so alone on this very lonely journey of pregnancy loss. I would definitely recommend to those who are grieving the loss of a pregnancy or a young child, or even those who have someone close who has to get a better understanding or get advice on how to help.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

jenrow1
5.0 out of 5 stars Understanding and uplifting
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 14, 2018
I read the whole book in one go. I liked that the stories include all types of loss. The quotes feel more real coming from real Mums. There are websites and charity information in the back. Also a section for Dads.
Could I have a replacement please
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 3, 2014
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