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Why People Don't Heal and How They Can Hardcover – January 1, 1997
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Then in 1988 Myss had an experience that made her realize the power that lies in being wounded. "One day, in passing, I introduced a friend of mine to two gentlemen I was talking with," says Myss. "Within two minutes, my friend managed to let these men know that she was an incest survivor. Her admission had nothing whatsoever to do with the conversation we'd been having, and in a flash I realized that she was using her wounds as leverage. She had gotten to the point that she defined herself by a negative experience." Once Myss became attuned to this phenomenon, which she quickly dubbed woundology, she saw it everywhere. "In workshops and in daily life I saw that, rather than working to get beyond their wounds, people were using them as social currency," says Myss. "They were confusing the therapeutic value of self-expression with permission to manipulate others with their wounds. Who would want to leave that behind? Health never commands so much clout!" It was then that Myss began to challenge the assumption that people always want to heal.
Why People Don't Heal and How They Can shows how choosing to stay stuck in woundology often comes at a terrible price: the loss of health. "We are given a finite amount of energy to run our physical bodies, our minds, and our emotions, as well as to manage our external environments," says Myss. "When we choose to siphon off some of this energy to keep negative events in our histories alive, we are robbing that energy from our cell tissue, making ourselves vulnerable to the development of disease." Once this path is seen as the true energy debt that it is, choosing health means choosing to release the weight of the past. Too often, this is something that people just can't or won't do.
While the practice of woundology is a common source of illness, personal negativity is not always the cause; as contradictory as it seems, sometimes illness can be the answer to prayer. "Our spiritual development is meant to culminate in an ability to see things impersonally, to recognize the greater meaning of life's challenges apart from the literal events," says Myss. "To that end, illness can physically guide us onto a path of insight and learning upon which we would otherwise never have set foot. It is an unparallelled catalyst for expanding personal consciousness."
Why People Don't Heal details the intended path of one's spiritual evolution, asserting that it is a microcosm of the spiritual development of humankind over the ages. "With each astrological age (which lasts about 2,000 years), human consciousness develops in new ways," says Myss. "During each age a particular kind of energy dominates, and it affects people's lives, health, and spiritual outlooks, leading to certain perceptions about the nature of reality and the power of the human spirit." Since the ladder of awareness that humankind has climbed over centuries is the same one each of us is meant to ascend in our own individual lifetime, we can then study the spiritual lessons of the ages of Aries (Tribal power), Pisces (Individual), and Aquarius (Symbolic) and apply them to our own human natures; to fail to do so has distinct health consequences.
After describing the reasons why people don't heal, Myss delves into how they can; the first step often consists of calling one's spirit back, retrieving one's energy from the places it has gotten "stuck" in one's past. In practical terms, this means learning to see that difficult experiences are meant to be learned from, and gotten over. Why People Don't Heal and How They Can also details the process of learning to read the body, recognizing that its illnesses are very specific expressions of particular spiritual issues (an idea Myss introduced in her bestselling book Anatomy of The Spirit). In every case, seeing the spiritual lesson that underlies any illness requires a shift in consciousness. "I believe that all illnesses can be thought of as transformation experiences," says Myss. "Looking upon an illness as an opportunity to grow in self-awareness activates the potential for healing that lies dormant when you take a passive position or descend into self-pity. When an illness is a part of your spiritual journey, no medical intervention can heal you until your spirit has begun to make the changes that the illness was designed to inspire."
As easy as it might sound, the prospect of self-awareness is terrifying to most people, because every internal change in perspective or belief activates an external shift, usually destroying the familiar (and therefore comforting) outlines of their lives. Why People Don't Heal and How They Can scrutinizes why many people are so scared of change that they will unconsciously sabotage their own healing process rather than make changes in their emotional and psychological lives to effect a shift in their biology. "I often say that 'your biography becomes your biology,'" says Myss. "If you are sick, you must recognize that living life as you always have seemingly brought you to illness. Although there are no guarantees about healing, if you are able to enter into a process of change, then you maximize your chances of getting well if not on the physical plane, then more importantly in a spiritual sense."
Finally, Why People Don't Heal explains why an intellectual understanding of what you need to do to heal is not enough; to ignite the healing fire, you must believe it with your heart. "The greatest illusion of the New Age is that awareness alone heals," says Myss. "Believe me, awareness by itself does nothing! Putting the healing process in motion requires a regular spiritual practice and discipline, not just exercise and clean living."
- Print length263 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherThree Rivers Press
- Publication dateJanuary 1, 1997
- Dimensions6.5 x 1.25 x 9.75 inches
- ISBN-100609600907
- ISBN-13978-0609600900
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Woundology and the Healing Fire
In the late spring of 1988, I arrived at the Findhorn Community in northeastern Scotland to teach a healing workshop. At that point in my career the people who came to my workshops had tended to be searching for a personal healing. They expected me, as a medical intuitive, to facilitate their healing directly by giving them an individual reading and setting up a treatment regimen for them. (These days my workshops are largely filled with self-reliant people who want to learn how to become more intuitive by learning to speak chakras and so heal themselves and their lives, or professionals looking to learn how to help others heal.)
Though I myself am not a healer, I was happy to help them, of course, to the best of my abilities. Often in my readings I was simply validating the suspicions, insights, or intuitions that they already had about themselves and the changes they needed to make in their lives. Sometimes these readings ignited an inner physical and spiritual healing process. Even so, at that time, my workshop participants and I all felt that we were on the right track. After all, healing and health had become the main focus of the holistic or consciousness culture as well as the center of my life. Almost everyone I met, professionally and personally, spoke about either wanting to become a healer or needing a healer, being on their way to visit a new healer, or believing that they were meant to be a healer as soon as they had completed their own healing.
I enjoyed traveling around the world and meeting spiritually committed people who needed me as much as I needed them, and I had especially come to love Findhorn, a community of about three hundred people sharing an organic, cooperative life and a respect for all spiritual paths. Some of the community members reside in an enchanting, converted turn-of-the-century hotel; others have made their home quarters in a beautiful park area alongside the Findhorn Bay. The rugged beauty of the Scottish Highlands, combined with the spiritual focus of the community, make Findhorn a most attractive place to be. Whenever I go there, I seem to receive a special energetic charge that results in some important insight, and this visit in 1988 was no exception. This time, however, the insight came in a rather unlikely way.
Prior to beginning the weeklong workshop, I had arranged to have lunch with my dear friend Mary. Having arrived early in the dining room, I joined two gentlemen for tea. Mary entered a while later, and when she walked over to our table, I introduced her to my companions. She had just extended her hand to greet them when another member of the Findhorn community, Wayne, came up to her and asked, Mary, are you busy on June eighth? Were looking for someone to escort a guest coming to Findhorn for the day.
The tone of Mary's response was as revealing as its length. She snapped, June eighth? Did you say June eighth? Suffused with anger and resentment, she continued, Absolutely not! June eighth is my incest support group meeting, and I would never, ever miss that meeting! We count on each other, after all. We incest victims have to be there for one another. I mean, who else do we have?
Mary went on for a while longer, but this is as much as I can accurately remember. I was captivated by the instantaneous dramatics triggered by a simple question about her schedule. Wayne hardly took notice of her response, thanked her, and left, but I was astonished. Later, as Mary and I were having lunch, I asked her about her behavior:
Mary, why, when you were answering Wayne's question about your schedule, did you have to let all three men know that you had suffered incest as a young girl, that you were still angry about it, that you were angry with men in general, and that you intended to control the atmosphere of the conversation with your anger? All Wayne asked you was, Are you busy June eighth? and in response you gave these three men a miniature therapy class. A simple yes or no would have done fine.
Mary looked at me as if I had betrayed her. Her body stiffened, and she emphasized her words in an ice-cold, defensive tone: I answered that way because I am a victim of incest. She drew back from the table, stopped eating, and threw her napkin over her plate, indicating that our lunch together had come to a close. Although I didn't realize it at that moment, so had our friendship.
Mary, honey, I replied, softening my own tone somewhat, I know you're a victim of incest, but what I'm trying to figure out is why you found it necessary to tell two strangers and Wayne your history when all he wanted to know was whether you could help out on June eighth. Did you want these men to treat you a certain way or talk to you in a certain way? What made you lay your wounds out on the table within seven seconds of meeting two new people?
Mary told me that I simply did not understand because I had not endured what she and numerous other incest victims had gone through, but that she had expected me as a friend to be more compassionate. I replied that lack of compassion had nothing to do with what I was asking her. I could feel the separation of--energy between us as I realized that in order for our friendship to continue, I needed to speak wounds to Mary, to follow some--very specific rules of how a supportive friend was to behave, and to bear always in mind that she defined herself by a negative experience.
In addition to her painful childhood history, Mary also had a history of chronic ailments. She was always in pain--some days emotional, some days physical. Though she was kind and always ready to support her friends, she much preferred the company of people who had also had abusive childhoods. That day at our lunch, I realized that Mary needed to be with people who spoke the same language and shared the same mindset and behaviors. I immediately began to think of this attitude as woundology. I have since become convinced that when we define ourselves by our wounds, we burden and lose our physical and spiritual energy and open ourselves to the risk of illness.
That day I felt as if I had been catapulted out of the surrounding healing culture of Findhorn and the general consciousness movement and was viewing it as an outsider. Although I had not previously noticed this pattern of thought and behavior in Mary or in anyone else, the very next day, curiously, a miniature version of the Mary incident took place in my workshop.
I had arrived twenty minutes early to get ready for my presentation and noticed a woman sitting alone. I sat down next to her and asked, What's your name? That's all I asked. Yet without even looking at me, she responded:
I'm a victim of incest, but I'm fifty-six years old now and I'm over that trauma. I have a wonderful support group, and several of us get together at least once a week, which I believe is essential to healing.
She still had not told me her name, so I asked again, And what's your name? But she still didn't answer me directly. She seemed to be in a daze. It felt to me as if she had been preparing for a long time to say something publicly, and now, given the opportunity, she couldn't hear any questions that didn't relate to her agenda. Instead of telling me her name, she said how much she enjoyed coming to workshops like mine because a person was free to speak openly about his or her past, and she hoped that I would allow time for people to share their personal histories. I thanked her and left the room, needing a few moments to gather my thoughts.
Meeting this woman the day after the incident with Mary was not a coincidence. I believe I was being directed to pay attention to the ways we expect to heal our lives--through therapy and support groups. So many people in the midst of a process of healing, I saw, are at the same time feeling stuck. They are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds. Now primed to hear people speak woundology, I believe I was meant to challenge the assumptions that I and many others then held dear--especially the assumption that everyone who is wounded or ill wants the full recovery of their health.
Product details
- Publisher : Three Rivers Press (January 1, 1997)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 263 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0609600907
- ISBN-13 : 978-0609600900
- Item Weight : 1.3 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.5 x 1.25 x 9.75 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #422,167 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,312 in Healing
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Caroline M. Myss ' Biography
Caroline is dedicated to creating educational programs in the field of human consciousness, spiritually and mysticism, health, energy medicine, and advancing the science of medical intuition. She established CMED, her own educational institute, in 2003, which offers two programs running three courses per year, on Sacred Contracts and Mysticism. Additionally, Caroline maintains a rigorous workshop and lecture schedule internationally and continues a consultation practice with physicians, psychiatrists, psychologists, and other health practitioners, as a medical intuitive.
In 1996, Caroline compiled her years of research in medical intuition with her work in the field of human consciousness, releasing the book, ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT. This book became a New York Times bestseller and has been published in 18 languages. To date, it has sold over 1.5 million copies.
In investigating the underlying reasons why people sabotage their healing processes, Caroline identified a syndrome as 'woundology', characterized by a person who prefers to rely upon the power of illness for manipulation of his or her world as opposed to attained an independent, empowered state of health. As with her other ground-breaking research, this syndrome is now a recognized psychological condition. Her work in this area became the subject of her fourth book, WHY PEOPLE DON'T HEAL and HOW THEY CAN. This book was Caroline's second New York Times bestseller.
Caroline released her fifth book, SACRED CONTRACTS, which became her third New York Times bestseller. As with her previous books, this one is also in 18 languages and reports sales of well over 1.6 million.
Due to the interest generated by her work in Sacred Contracts, in 2003, Caroline opened CMED (Caroline Myss Education), her own educational institute. CMED offers two programs per year, each three sessions long. The first is on Sacred Contracts and the second is on Mysticism, Intuition, and Healing. The Institute draws students from nineteen nations, as well as across the United States.
In 2004, Caroline released her sixth book, INVISIBLE ACTS OF POWER, which also became a New York Times bestseller. She is now working on her seventh book: ENTERING THE CASTLE. She has also just published her first book through her company, CMED, entitled, THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF GEORGE WASHINGTON, an extraordinary piece of literature that was channeled sixty years ago by a nearly-blind woman named Edith Ellis. Myss considers this project to be a vital part of her commitment to support an archive of information on her personal passion, which is the mystical history of America.
Through the years of her career, Caroline has taught in thirty-five countries, continuing her international work at present. In addition to writing six books, Caroline is the leading recording artist for Sounds True, Inc., the major audio recording company in the holistic field. She has recorded with them since 1990, producing 30 different titles. Her entire library of recordings now number of 180.
In 2003, Oprah Winfrey gave Caroline her own television program for one year with the OXYGEN network in New York City, which ran successfully for one year.
BOARD MEMBERSHIPS
From 1999-2004, Caroline served on the Board of the State of the World Forum with Jim Garrison.
She is presently on the Board of Wisdom University, San Francisco, where she also Chairs the Department of Energy Medicine and the Healing Arts.
In 1995, Myss, along with C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D., founded the American Board of Scientific Medical Intuition.
CMED Institute
In 2003, Myss founded her own educational institute, CMED (Caroline Myss EDucation), providing seminars in Sacred Contracts and Mysticism and Intuition for students from all over the world. More information on her institute is available on her web site: www.myss.com.
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I really loved the connections and ability to tie content in so that we see how to apply it. The stories are also very moving.
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She also explains how to overcome and change our negative mindset, to be healed holistically.
I have recommended this book to many people, including health professionals. They too have recommended it to others
Absolutely useful to those who seriously mean to stear their lifes in a new and healthier direction.
The solution is always: become aware of the problem, accept the reality and then get your hand dirty sorting out your emotional defences and defensive patterns.
The author tells thorny truths that must be known and personally examined. If one resists the tempation to dismiss/discount them or to get enraged, this book is life changing.