the prose is stunning. it truly knocks the wind out of you how something can be phrased so simply, so light, and yet send your entire day reeling. i wanted to fall into this book. i wanted to stop reading when it nauseated me. i wanted to call in sick to work and finish in one sitting. i didn't want it to end. the last words in this complex, exquisite story made me immediately burst into tears.
there was not a single moment where i wished for more detail about a different character. the story is vanessa's and hers alone. we see it through her eyes. for better or for worse, we are in it with her. we see what she saw, what she remembered of those (besides strane) who made a deep enough mark on her to leave an impression. the details given about other characters are minute, carefully chosen. they paint sincere details that provide shocking depth to minor characters that don't require much to serve their purpose in the novel, their purpose to vanessa.
it was not too long. it did not feel repetitive or have a lull. this story consumed over fifteen years of vanessa's life. she struggled with what happened in a confusing, messed up, imperfect way. for better for for worse, we went on that ride with her. we're taken through such an intimate, painful, sometimes borderline thrilling journey, and russell does a beautiful job grappling with the myriad of feelings you may experience as a victim. was it my fault? did i ask for it? did i deserve it? if i'm being blamed, could it have been even a little bit me? if it was me, was it because i liked it? because i wanted it? will i make it out alive?
if you've made it here after the ort*z essay, please call to mind ort*z's initial point: racism and glass ceilings in the publishing industry are a disgusting, rampant problem. yes, perhaps other books discussing abuse may not have gotten the same hype MDV received. that, in part, may be due to a white woman telling this story. that is certainly an issue. we can't package abuse to be palatable if it is coming from the "right" place, the place we feel is most accessible, relatable, marketable. what is a bigger issue is the conversation of a plagiarism that did not happen eclipsing a stunning debut that will surely stick with you as long as you have memories to grasp. it's a bigger issue to force a survivor to out themselves to attain some sort of depraved credibility because you assumed she couldn't write her version of an abuse narrative. it's an issue to hide when you're in the wrong and refocus the conversation because you don't feel like facing the blowup it causes. take ownership.
several times when i read this book, i needed to put it down and stare into middle distance to really digest what i'd read. i'm glad i kept coming back. i had to. it was a like having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders after hearing horrible news. it was so inviting and wonderful while turning your gut in revulsion.
i hope you pick up a copy. i hope you read it when you're ready. i hope you find empathy. i hope you find healing. i hope we get more from russell soon, but if fifteen years is what it takes to bring something else crafted as precariously as my dark vanessa, i'll see you in 2035.
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To be groomed is to be loved and handled like a precious, delicate thing.Highlighted by 3,586 Kindle readers- That seems the likely ending to this love story: me dropping everything and doing anything, devoted as a dog, as he takes and takes and takes.Highlighted by 2,985 Kindle readers
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A dark story, yet beautifully written.
"I need to give myself the chance to see more of the world without him behind my eyes. I'm already starting to feel the difference. There's a clearness, a lightness." - My Dark Vanessa✨ My Dark Vanessa Review✨This book is not the easiest to review. Though it is beautifully written, it is a dark, disturbing story. A story about a 15 year old girl, Vanessa, and her disastrous and scandalous relationship with her middle-aged English teacher, Mr. Strane.When Strane begins to show interest in Vanessa, (a small compliment here, a touch of her leg there) she begins to immediately crave more and more attention from him. They become each other's obsession, and their relationship turns frighteningly intimate. Strane tells Vanessa he is in love with her, and she believes him and as much as her mind fights with her heart and her body, she craves more time with him.Throughout the book, we see Vanessa struggle with her experience for years. She cannot let the past go, nor her relationship with the teacher. Her life revolves around him completely. Even as other allegations against him come to the surface, even though the relationship has stolen years and years of her life, she chooses to believe him, and remain loyal to him for so, so long.Following Vanessa's journey was eye opening in so may ways. Seeing her subtle cries for help, and the way her mind twisted reality so she could feel beautiful and desired in the moment was devastating. But in the end, there is a glimpse of healing. A glimpse of what a good life could be. A life of her own. A life without him.Please be aware that this is not a lighthearted book by any means.This book describes the sexual relationship between a teacher and a minor in vivid detail and contains suicide, child grooming etc.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Top reviews from other countries
Cliente de Kindle
Excelente condiciones
Reviewed in Mexico on August 22, 2022
Cliente de Kindle
Reviewed in Mexico on August 22, 2022
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Carlijn van der Leck
Good and insightful. It really make you think.
Reviewed in the Netherlands on January 2, 2024